A Reason
by EnglishPoet18
Summary: Nicole was just a girl from the streets, a victim of bad circumstance with no way out in sight. Until one day Merle Dixon makes an offer for her, but can he save her? Merle/OC Rated M. I own nothing from The Walking Dead.
1. Chapter 1

**So I think this piece of work is going to be about 2-3 parts. I'm writing this for the super sweet sweetkiwi604 who feeds my Merle addiction. I didn't get you anything for your birthday Sweets, so consider this my gift to you. This is an AU Merle/OC short story. I hope you all enjoy it and comments are always welcome! Thanks! :)**

...

I don't remember the exact point that I sold my soul to the devil for a plate of food and a warm bed. What I do remember is thinking that I was finally getting off of the streets and starting a relationship. I was going places...or so I thought. As it turns out, the only place I was really going was insane.

The devil comes in many disguises, some are obvious and some aren't so obvious. I'd like to think that if I hadn't been desperate and half-starved at the time that I met Scott then I would have seen right through his disguise.

Except I didn't.

The allure of a warm bed, consistent meals, and a roof over my head blinded me to the evil hiding inside the hollow shell of the man I knew as Scott. I was eighteen when we ran up with each other. I had been living on the streets, hopping from place to place without ever having a permanent residence. I had thought that by leaving the too-crowded foster home that I had practically grown up in that life might be different...might be better even. And at first it was.

That first breath of freedom you get is like the best adrenaline rush you'll ever have. I was blinded by the lights, the people, by not having any responsibilities for once. Even though I had to sleep huddled next to a dumpster that night I still felt like it was a small price to pay for freedom.

And what a price it was. I hadn't considered at all what I would do for money and it didn't take me long to learn some unsavory ways to get cash. I learned to steal, too terrified of getting caught so I kept it small. I only ever stole food and just enough to get me by at a time. I was never greedy. Even so, stealing became harder and harder to attempt without a much higher risk and I began grappling with other avenues of earning money.

The one thing I didn't want to do was sell my body for money and thank God I never had to. After all, I liked to consider myself above that kind of thing, but now that I think about it, I was basically doing it anyway once I moved in with Scott. I met Scott through mutual acquaintances on the streets and we hit it off instantly. There was something about the way he looked at me as if I was everything to him. I hadn't ever had that before and I was hooked from the start.

The thing about Scott that I would soon find out was that he often times tended to get bored with one thing and want to move on to the next. It was the same for women. He also had a jealous streak a mile long that quickly went from cute to absolutely psycho. Many times I wondered what it was about me that kept setting him off. I tried so hard to please him to keep from getting tossed back onto the street, but it never seemed to be enough.

We had a steady flow of traffic to and from the house, drug users showing up at all hours of the night wanting their next 'fix'. It was hard to become adjusted to, especially since every time Scott got up he wanted me up as well. It took some time, but I began to get adjusted to waking up at all hours of the night. I would stand to the side, watching the transaction and I wondered briefly if he wanted me there as a witness in case something dirty went down. He certainly didn't seem to care about wanting me around most other times.

The thing about Scott was that I knew he was sleeping around...I had seen evidence that he was fucking other women. I even once made the near fatal mistake of confronting him about it. Four bruises and a slap to the face later I found out just what a bad idea that had been. Apparently Scott didn't like his private life questioned so I learned to keep my mouth shut. I wanted to leave and I began to think about getting away from this life and making something of myself. This wasn't me.

That had been three years ago and I was still there, but not by my own free will. Truth be told I was terrified of leaving Scott, not only for the simple fact that he had threatened me, but also because I really had no where else to go. I felt trapped, but I played along to his rules, biding my time until I could escape.

He had lots of regulars, men who frequently came by wanting to buy more pills or coke. Scott dealt with both. I began to know most of them by name and some I even held conversations with. But there was a certain one in particular that always caught my eye. He seemed different than the others, stronger perhaps. I had heard a lot about Merle Dixon through others that drifted through and it became obvious that the man had quite a reputation. He had never been anything but nice to me though.

The headlight of the familiar motorcycle washed over my tanned skin as he pulled into the drive that night. I watched his shadow as he slid off of the bike, that familiar swagger to his walk making my insides quiver in response. The man wasn't lacking for sex appeal that much was for sure.

"Well if it isn't my favorite redneck," I teased him softly. He stopped at the bottom of the concrete steps, one booted foot planted next to my bare feet that seemed so small in comparison.

He grunted, his usual reply and I waited for some sort of teasing remark to follow. When it didn't, I took a good long look at him. Granted it was dark out, but even so I could still make out enough of his face to tell that something wasn't right. It wasn't my place I knew, but I was concerned anyway. I stood up, brushing the back of my shorts off so that I could be more on his level even though I was still a good bit shorter than him.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

His steely blue eyes pierced my skin even in the darkness, but I relished the feel. "Gonna be my last stop darlin'. Weanin' myself off," He replied.

For some reason, this news was devastating and for several moments all I could do was stare at him in silence. The whole thing was silly really...we weren't even friends or anything, but the hurt I felt at his statement made my head throb.

"Oh," I replied.

Dark soulful eyes met mine and I sensed that he had something else he wanted to say, but the door opened behind me and I felt Scott's presence before I felt his hand land possessively on my hip. I cringed, closing my eyes at the touch that was no longer welcome and then I remembered that Merle could see my face. I quickly wiped it clear of all emotion and took a step back next to Scott.

"Dixon. Wasn't expecting you so soon," Scott greeted him. "Come on in and let's talk business." Scott stepped back into the house, pulling me along, his fingers digging into the soft skin of my arm. I fought the urge to cry out and simply let him move me where he wanted. I could tell already that his jealousy was raging to the surface and I wondered what kind of beating I was in for later tonight.

Merle hesitated and then he slowly stepped inside. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't dare look at him, not with Scott watching me so closely. I had never given him any reason to doubt me, but Scott never did need a reason. Sometimes I think he imagined a lot of things that he blamed me for just so he could rage at me.

"You gettin' your usual?" Scott murmured.

"Nah, jus' gimme five singles this time," Merle replied.

Scott raised a brow in surprise, "Five? You wasting my time for five Dixon? What the hell?"

There were few times that I've ever seen Scott back down from anyone. Most times he put on a front like he wasn't scared, but he forgot that I knew him and I could tell that he was even if others couldn't. It worked for a lot of people though...most of them were already too high or tweaking on something to see through his charade. Unfortunately for Scott, Merle Dixon wasn't one of those people.

Merle took a step forward, his body held rigid with tension, "You don't wanna take my money, someone else will," he threatened.

Scott licked his lips and then held up his hands in mock surrender, "Hey man, simmer down. Just asking a question. You usually get a lot more is all."

"Nicole," Scott snapped, drawing my attention from Merle. "Dinner."

I nodded my head as Scott left the room to fulfill Merle's request, but I didn't leave yet now that we were alone. I didn't want Merle to leave because I had been comforted by his presence twice a week. I thought it was great that he was cleaning himself up. If anyone could do it, then I knew it would be Merle Dixon.

Merle seemed a little on edge and I wondered if it was because he was trying to come off of the pills. "Would you like something to drink?" I asked. It wasn't customary of us to offer refreshments to 'clients' and I took a big risk to even offer such a thing.

"Nah, I'm good darlin'." He eyed me speculatively, "Why you with that one?" He jerked his head towards the long hallway that led to the bedroom I shared with Scott.

I swiped a lock of my dirty blonde hair free from my eyes, but it fell right back despite my attempt. I needed a hair cut badly, but I would never ask for one. Instead I tried to make do with what I had, sweeping it up and off of my shoulders. I listened for the sound of the bedroom door opening, but heard nothing.

I shrugged in response to Merle's question, "I've got no where else to go," I answered honestly.

He seemed surprised, something flickering in his eyes that I couldn't read. "Don't believe that," He said. "There's always somewhere."

"Back on the street?" I huffed. "Been there, done that. I don't wanna be someone else's whore." I knew it was a harsh choice of words, but I figured I may as well be honest considering I didn't have much to lose at this point. "I want to leave," I whispered just as I heard the bedroom door open. Fearful of facing Scott's wrath, I scurried into the kitchen and began to start dinner. I knew I had said too much and now there would be backlash. Tears burned the back of my eyelids, but I held them back, refusing to break down.

I could hear the two of them talking in the living room although I couldn't make out what they were saying. Not that it mattered any more. I took out several pots from underneath the counter and nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Scott's voice.

"Nicole! Here. Now!" Scott snapped.

I moved hurriedly, wiping my hands on a dish towel as I headed back into the living room. God only knew what would happen now. Had Merle given me up? I hadn't thought him the type, but maybe I had misjudged him. I didn't want to question him because he had been so nice, but why else would Scott call me away from dinner?

"Yes?" I asked as I entered the room and took my place at Scott's side.

Scott barely glanced at me as he studied Merle and I noticed Merle staring him right back, not intimidated in the least. Finally Scott nodded as if he were convinced of something. "Dixon here just made me a very generous offer that I can't refuse babe," Scott explained.

I glanced at Merle with wide eyes, my curiosity piqued. What type of offer had been made that involved me? To say that I was nervous would be an understatement, but then Merle met my gaze and there was something in his eyes that calmed me... "He did?" I asked.

Scott nodded, "He's requested you for the night and he's willing to pay a very generous sum for your time. It's quite an overpayment if you ask me, Dixon has been a little lonely and you do give the best head around." He laughed like it was some kind of joke and I watched as the corner of Merle's mouth tilted into a smirk.

"I don't understand," I spoke softly, my brain trying to decipher what all of this meant. I was for sale now? Scott hadn't ever let someone 'buy' me before. No way was I going to let myself become someone's whore for the night even if it was Merle Dixon. I found myself getting really angry, but I held it in for now.

Scott laughed and pushed me into Merle who abruptly caught me, his hands rough, yet gentle all at the same time. It was confusing to say the least.

"What's there to understand babe? It's done deal. She's your problem now Dixon." Scott smirked.

"Perfect. Let's go darlin'," Merle tugged on my arm and I reluctantly went along with it, already planning my escape in my head.

I felt betrayed by this man that I had foolishly thought a friend. I had even developed a crush on him and this is what I had to show for it? My heart hurt, but I forced my feet to follow Merle Dixon to his bike. Scott watched us from the porch as Merle straddled the bike and then jerked his head towards the back for me to climb on. Bristling in anger I did so, but I refused to hold onto him.

Merle walked the bike backwards out of the drive and peered over his shoulder at me, "Might wanna hang on darlin'. Don't want ya eatin' pavement," he said loudly.

Reluctantly I grabbed onto his shirt and he hit the gas, sending us off into the night at a faster pace than I had anticipated. I yelped and my arms slid around his waist quickly. I could feel his rumble of laughter vibrate through him and I glared at his back, but I couldn't maintain my anger for too long with as good as it felt to get away from that house. Even though I hadn't had so much as a pot to piss in, I missed that freedom of being on my own on the streets...of answering to no one. Riding behind Merle gave me a taste of that freedom that I craved and I found myself enjoying the ride despite my anger from earlier.

With my arms wrapped around his middle it didn't take me long to find out that Merle Dixon had muscles under that t-shirt. Without being too obvious, I shifted my hands around to get a better feel for them. In doing so I caused myself to get aroused and then proceeded to spend the rest of the ride sulking about it. Damn that man. This would be a lot easier if he were ugly, but Merle Dixon was anything but.

We pulled up at a small, but modest cabin-type home on the outskirts of town and Merle pulled the bike around to park in front of a small barn that had clearly seen better days. The silence that engulfed us when he switched off the engine was deafening and I began to work out my exit strategy in my head as Merle climbed off first then held out a hand for me. I ignored him of course and attempted to remove myself from the bike, catching my shoe on the seat as I did so.

The action threw me into Merle's hard chest and his arms caught me easily, hauling me upright again. One glance up at his face and I saw that his eyes were twinkling, a sign that he was enjoying himself. Pissed off Nikki was back and I pushed away from him angrily.

"You had no right!" I yelled at him. He didn't even flinch and that made me think he had been expecting my attack. He was consistently throwing me off and I didn't care for it. Instead he simply crossed his arms and stared at me in such a way that it made my pulse quicken in response. I rushed at him and shoved him in the chest as hard as I could, but although he stepped back on step it didn't even phase him. "I'm not going to be your whore!" I cried out, shoving at him again.

I lost it then. I began hitting him over and over again, screaming obscenities at him that I didn't even stop to think about as it spewed forth. The fact that he stood there and let me do it only made it that much more worse. Unbidden, tears began to streak down my cheeks and I tried to push away from him, but he grabbed me gently by the wrist. I knew I was in for it and I flinched in expectation, but he shocked me even more by tucking me into his chest and holding me close. I buried my face into him, breathing his musky scent deep into my lungs as I unleashed emotions I hadn't even realized I carried.

I vaguely heard him speaking softly to someone over my head, but I didn't want to look yet. For reasons I couldn't explain I felt safe in his arms and it scared me. When my tears finally began to subside, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and grew quiet. I worked on getting my emotions under control, a little embarrassed by my outburst.

"What do you want from me?" I asked softly.

He let out a long drawn out breath, "Ya wanted out. I got ya out." He said it as if it were that simple. Nothing with Scott was _ever_ that simple.

"What do you mean? I have to go back tomorrow. You heard him. One night...if I'm not back he'll come looking for me." I shuddered at the things that he would do to me when he found me. Scott had connections, knew all sorts of shady types. It wouldn't be the first time he had called upon one of them for a favor. "You do know that, right?" Surely I hadn't misjudged Merle. He had to know what he was getting himself into.

He chuckled humorlessly, "I'm lookin' forward to it," he replied. "Unless ya ain't serious 'bout leavin' him? Maybe ya like bein' treated like a dog, that it?" He pulled back from me and I missed his warmth immediately, but his features were stern with something close to anger. Had he thought I was lying to him?

"Of course not!" I spat.

He studied me a few moments more and then he nodded, seemingly satisfied by what he saw. "That's what I thought. Ya better be damn sure ya mean them words girl cause if I go ta bat for ya when he comes here then I wanna know ya ain't gonna cower in the corner."

My heart thudded painfully against my ribs. No one had _ever_ offered to go to bat for me before. "Why?" I asked hoarsely, my voice still raw from the crying.

He shrugged, "I need a reason?"

...


	2. Chapter 2

**As is usual when I start something new, this one is calling to me now. It seems that Merle and Nicole have a story to tell that's longer than three chapters so for now I'm just going to go with the flow until they tell me their story is done. I'm glad to know that you're all enjoying it and I appreciate the reviews. **

...

I couldn't sleep without Scott there.

I was disgusted with myself beyond reason for it, but I had become so used to having his presence in the bed with me that I found myself tossing and turning in Merle's bed by myself. I had tried to take the couch, but neither he nor his brother Daryl would hear of it. I slept in short spurts, jumping awake at the slightest creak. My body was so attuned to waking up at Scott's request that I had become something of a light sleeper.

All through the evening I had toyed with the idea of leaving, bouncing back and forth in my head about where I would go. The problem with that was I knew that I really didn't have anywhere to go and I wasn't fond of having to hit the streets again. I didn't know how long Merle and his brother would let me stay and I was scared to ask...afraid to hear an answer I didn't want. I may have been the tough girl from the streets, but deep inside I was really a coward.

And I felt safe here even though I was with two men whom I honestly didn't know a lot about. Merle's brother Daryl seemed nice enough although he didn't say much. He was extremely quiet, so soft spoken that when he did decide to speak I had to strain to hear the words. He kept his distance from me in a respectful sort of way and I appreciated that even though I didn't sense any danger from him.

It baffled me how two men could be so different, yet be so alike at the same time. Where Merle was loud and outspoken, Daryl was quiet and almost withdrawn even. They both carried the same rich baritone voice that seemed to flow through you, encompassing all your senses at once. It was strangely hypnotic, yet absolutely arousing all at the same time. They seemed to communicate with each other through a look or a few words spaced out here or there. I found them even more intriguing the more that I studied them.

I sat up in Merle's bed, his scent all around me and swung my legs over the side. His large t-shirt covered me like a dress, way more material than I was used to, but it was better than sleeping in the denim jeans and t-shirt that I had worn over here. Tiptoeing to the door I opened it and peered out. The tiny living room was dark, but I could hear Merle's rhythmic breathing and a further glance out told me that Daryl's bedroom door was closed. I bit my lip and contemplated over what to do. I needed fresh air, craved it even and it seemed as if I wouldn't be sleeping anyway so why not?

Decision made, I felt my way slowly across the living room floor, mindful of where I stepped. The last thing I wanted was to wake anyone up because I hadn't been watching where I was going. The wooden floor was slightly cool and felt good against my bare feet as I crept towards the door. If only I wouldn't have gotten careless and tried to rush past Merle's sleeping form on the couch, distracted by my own thoughts at the time. The floor creaked and everything was suddenly too quiet. Strong fingers wrapped around my wrist, catching me in a loose, but firm hold.

"Where ya headed off to?" Merle's voice was gravelly and laced with sleep.

"I just needed some fresh air," I explained. "I can't sleep."

"An' you thought goin' outside at night in just a t-shirt was a good way to remedy that?" He let go of my wrist and moved aside as he sat up. I heard the rustle of clothing and my heart began to beat double time as I belatedly realized he had been lying there in only his boxers.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Comin' out with ya," He replied as he stood up. I heard the telltale sound of a zipper sliding into place and I turned away, walking the last few steps to the door and opening it to step out. It would do me no good to do something inappropriate to this man who was being so kind to me.

He was behind me in an instant, his closeness setting all of my senses on high alert. I cleared my throat and took a seat on the steps, sliding his t-shirt down over my legs like a tent. He sat two steps below me, stretching his long legs out before him as he began digging through his pockets. I watched him pull out a cigarette and a lighter, offering one to me, but I shook my head no. I didn't smoke, had never cared for it. He shrugged and lit it, taking a long drag before blowing out a large cloud of smoke that I waved away from me with one hand.

He chuckled, "You a tough one ta figure out darlin'."

"Why's that?" I asked curiously.

"What're ya doin' with Eminem back there?" I almost laughed at his reference to Scott and Eminem because they did favor a little in appearance.

Merle had answered my question with a question though. That figured. I searched my brain for an honest answer that would make sense. It was something that I always pondered over in my brain, but never really had one specific answer for. There were many reasons though... just like there were reasons for everything.

"It's better than living on the streets," I finally replied.

"Ya don't seem the type to live on no streets," he scoffed.

That pissed me off a little bit. I hated when people tried to categorize others into different 'types'. There were no such things as 'types' in my opinion. There were just people and everyone was different in their own way. Living with Scott had opened my eyes to all sorts of people and I had quickly learned that just because someone didn't look like they used drugs, it sure as hell didn't mean that they didn't. I had seen them all - businessmen, jocks, the rich, and even the poor. When it came to addictions, there definitely wasn't a type.

I chuckled dryly, "You of all people should know to never judge a book by its cover."

He seemed taken aback by that and I watched as he mulled it over, taking another long drag on his cigarette. The moonlight combined with the dim nightlight cast a soft glow over the yard and provided me with just enough light to see his profile. That was the first time that I had noticed how pale and sweaty he looked. Curiously I leaned forward and swiped a finger across his brow and he pulled back immediately. Definitely sweat.

"What the hell ya doin' girl?" He asked gruffly.

"You haven't taken any of those pills you bought from Scott, have you?" I asked softly.

He grunted, staring out into the night without a reply. Maybe it hadn't been any of my business, but I had been compelled to ask. I didn't want to see him get sick trying to beat this on his own. Merle Dixon might have been tough, but so were drug addictions and I didn't know what all else he may have taken that he didn't buy from Scott. Seeing as how I wasn't going to get an answer to my question, I decided to change the subject a bit.

"Your brother Daryl, he cares a lot about you," I commented.

"Yeah, reckon he does. What's it to you?"

I picked at a stubborn weed growing through the wooden crevices of the steps as I mulled my words over. "Nothing, really. I just think it's really sweet of you to give up your habits for him. I never had no one care about me like that when I was younger."

Merle scoffed, "Who said I was givin' this shit up for my brother?" I felt the tugging of a small smile tease my lips at that, but I left it alone. "I'm doin' this shit for myself. Thirty goddamn years old...time I grew the fuck up I reckon."

His admission of his age surprised me. He definitely didn't look thirty years old even with the drug abuse and that was saying something. I felt young in my twenty-one years compared to him, but it didn't stop my body from responding to him every time he was near. It was admirable to me that he was going through this for himself, but again I knew that there had to be a part of him that took his brother into consideration even if it was a small part. I had seen them interact earlier that evening and even though they were sarcastic to each other more times than not, there was an underlying affection between them. I had yearned for a similar affection in my own life enough times to know.

"You don't look thirty," I commented.

He chuckled, "Sure the hell feel it most days. Damn sure ain't gettin' any younger that's for sure."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around my legs. It was kind of nice sitting here talking with him and not feeling any pressure over anything. I had almost forgotten how good that kind of thing could feel. It made me yearn for happier times in my life, but even that was a short well to draw from. I had wasted the last three years of my life being Scott's whore and slave, but hopefully that was about to change. I wanted to have faith that Merle would do as he said he would and help me. I needed that hope to cling to.

"He can't make ya go with him girl," Merle's voice was soft and it startled me that he seemed to know exactly what I had been thinking. I looked up and met his blue eyes in the dark, soft yet glittering all the same.

"You're very intuitive for a redneck," I teased gently.

He barked out a laugh, "I have my moments."

I continued to stare at him, aroused even more by his laughter that was so genuine and infectious. I wanted to know more about this man who was still a mystery to me in so many ways. "You're a sweet man, Merle Dixon."

"Aw, fuck darlin'. Ain't nothin' sweet about me! Don't be fooled by outer appearances," he replied.

He could say all he wanted, but I felt it regardless. Whether Merle Dixon wanted anyone else to know it or not, he _was_ sweet. Him and his brother were like two sides of the same coin. Daryl was sweet with a spicy kick, but Merle was spicy with an underlying sweetness. It was kind of funny how they were so different yet so alike. Unfortunately for me I was drawn to the spicy with just a hint of sweetness. Call me crazy, but I had always liked a man who could be rough yet gentle all at the same time. I wanted someone who would spar with me on the best days, but cherish me on the worst. That had drawn me to Scott at first, but I had quickly found out that with him, there was to be no cherishing.

I felt my eyelids start to droop as sleep tried to creep over me and I stifled back a yawn as I climbed slowly to my feet, rubbing at my green eyes with the palm of my hand. Merle was staring off into the distance, seemingly lost in his own thoughts and I figured he would be out there a while yet.

"I guess I'm gonna go try to get some sleep," I said softly.

He nodded, still not looking my direction, "Prob'ly a good idea."

Impulsively I leaned over and kissed his temple, just a brief brush of my lips across his skin. He went still for a second and then he took another draw from his cigarette and I took that as my cue to leave. "Goodnight Merle." I didn't stick around long enough to see if he replied. The whole situation suddenly felt much too intimate for me and I knew that I was making a mistake by wishing for the impossible. I was safe for now and that was enough.

It had to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**I would like to thank everyone once again for all of the follows, favorites, and especially the reviews. It means a great deal to me that people are reading and enjoying. It definitely helps the muse work faster to crank the chapters out and I'm finding myself getting completely immersed into Merle and Nicole's world. Enjoy!**

...

I was up before everyone else the next morning and in the kitchen making coffee when Daryl walked into the door. I was so startled, having thought that he was still asleep that I dropped the mug I had been holding in my hand onto the floor where it promptly cracked in two.

"Shit!" I muttered as I scrambled to find something to clean the mess up with. I was only there for one night and I was already breaking shit. Nice job, Nicole.

I jumped when a broom appeared at my side and then Daryl's rough voice, "Got it."

"What the fuck is goin' on with all that racket?" Merle's deep voice boomed out.

I snatched the broom from Daryl's hands without thinking. "It's my mess. I'll clean it up. I'm so sorry," I stuttered over my words. Merle didn't sound too happy this morning. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him sitting up on the couch and glaring around the room as he slowly came to awareness. Daryl grabbed the dustpan and held it on the floor for me.

"Don't worry over him. He ain't much for mornin's. Be better when he's had his coffee," he said softly with a nod in Merle's direction.

I swallowed over a dry throat and nodded, but inside my stomach was all in knots. I was jumpy and with good reason. I didn't know what time Scott expected me back exactly and it was working my nerves something awful. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop and I didn't think I was going to make it.

Merle's shadow loomed over me and I stood up, moving to the side quickly as he brushed past and made a beeline for the coffeemaker. I had to admit he didn't look too good, nothing like he had looked last night and I had thought him to look rough then. He didn't speak to either of us as he poured himself a cup of coffee and I wasn't quite sure where to stand of what to do. I perched on one of the wooden barstools surrounding the kitchen island, but I felt like I should be doing something instead of sitting idly around.

Daryl placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of me and I smiled at him gratefully for his hospitality. Merle's brother sure was sweet, but he didn't make my heart flutter like the bear of a man downing his cup of coffee right in front of me. I noticed that Merle was still shirtless, but had on pants that although zipped were unbuttoned. Every time he took a sip of coffee his bicep curled in such a way that made me want to melt into the floor. I waited for him to say something to me, to acknowledge me in some way, but he left the room once he finished his coffee. Minutes later the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut echoed throughout the house and I cringed.

"It ain't you," Daryl commented and I glanced at him. It was only then that I saw the bow he carried on his back and I figured he had been hunting which would have explained him being up so early. "He's comin' off the drugs, gonna be a bear for a while."

I nodded along, but I didn't know much about detoxing since all of the users I had ever been around weren't interested in finding ways to quit. It made me wonder how many times Merle had quit since Daryl seemed to know so much about his attitude.

"I can understand that. I imagine quitting anything cold turkey has to be hard." I had quit smoking once, having developed the habit from an acquaintance as a way to calm my nerves. It hadn't been an easy task, but I had been determined and that had helped.

"Cold turkey?" Daryl raised an eyebrow. "Fuckin' Merle, man. I thought he was gonna wean himself off not do this shit all at once." He cast a hard glance at the closed bathroom door.

I bit my tongue nearly in half. I hadn't intended on starting a feud between the brothers and now I worried if I had said too much. Christ, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut today. It sure would make it a lot easier not to stick my foot in my mouth. "Fuck. Maybe I shouldn't have said that," I voiced my concerns out loud, but Daryl waved me away.

"Your secret's safe with me, but I like knowin' that way I can keep a closer eye on him. Probably why the bastard didn't tell me," he muttered. "I'll be out back cleanin' this deer if he comes lookin' or anybody shows," he said knowingly.

I smiled at him graciously as he slipped back out of the door and I was left alone in the kitchen with the faint sounds of the shower running in the background. I finished off my coffee and helped myself to another cup, grateful for the liquid caffeine flowing into my veins. The shower cut off as I busied myself with washing out the used coffee mugs and wiping up the counter. I filled another cup with the steaming liquid as the bathroom door opened and I slid it to the end of the counter just as Merle walked back into the kitchen.

He arched a brow at the mug, but picked it up and took a sip, raising the cup in a silent wave of thanks. I merely nodded and tried to avoid staring at him. He was still damp from his shower, the sparse hair on his chest plastered to his skin as he drank. I could smell the scent of aftershave and I decided I liked the smell of it on him.

"Quit lookin' like ya goin' to slaughter darlin'. Ain't expectin' him for a while yet. Figure he'll give me the benefit of the doubt, probably thinks I'm still knocked out from fuckin' the hell out of you all night."

He said the words so casually, but they burned their way down my body all of the way to my toes. I was flooded with images of him doing just that - fucking me all night long. I suppose I really did need to loosen up a bit. I hated myself for how bad I let him get to me and he wasn't even here. Scott didn't own me and it aggravated me that I acted like he did.

"He might bring people," I blurted without thinking.

It was true though. Scott was a coward at heart and I was almost one hundred percent positive that he would drag some little sidekick along with him for backup. I wanted Merle and his brother to be prepared for that possibility, but Merle only snorted.

"Let him. He can bring the national fucking guard if he's got a mind to. Ain't gonna make no fuckin' difference to me." Merle plunked his mug down on the island loudly and planted both palms on the edge, leaning forward to stare at me intently. "Like I said before, if you ain't wantin' to go then don't. You ain't nobody's slave and it's damn near time he realized that. Nothin' worse than a fuckin' man who gets his rocks off outta tellin' a woman what to do...unless it's in the bedroom." He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows making me giggle. His expression turned serious then. The way that he stared at me made me think he was undressing me with his eyes and I shifted. He blinked and stood up straight, walking to the sink to place his mug inside.

He paused as he was passing me and I felt his eyes staring down at me, "Gonna head outside an' talk to my brother for a minute. Make yourself at home."

I glanced up at him then, his stark blue eyes piercing me with their intensity and I found myself momentarily lost in their depths. He didn't move a muscle, but I heard his breathing deepen and I wondered if he was as affected by me as I was him. I knew there wasn't anything about my looks that really stood out and I had long ago accepted that fact. But for a moment I pretended that maybe there was something special about me and that maybe he was affected by me. It was a stupid fantasy I knew, but I had always craved that intense type of connection with someone that I had only ever seen in movies. Call me optimistic, but I held out hope that a guy like that was out there somewhere waiting for me. I was a bit of a hopeless romantic, but I would die if anyone ever found that out. The kind of life I led held no room for cheesy love stories so I kept those kinds of thoughts to myself.

"Before you go," I said suddenly, "I just wanted to let you know again how thankful I am that you're doing this for me."

His jaw twitched and if I hadn't been staring so hard I might have missed it. "Don't make me out to be no hero. Told ya I don't take kindly to no woman bein' used and I meant it."

I licked my lips, "Of course." I looked away, thinking the conversation over, but he grabbed my chin with two fingers, bringing my gaze back to his.

"You still with me on this darlin'? Cause when he comes up in that yard then you need to be the one to tell him you ain't goin'. Don't mean shit comin' from me." His voice was stern, but his touch was soft.

"I'm still with you," I said.

"That was pathetic," he stated bluntly.

I huffed at the slight insult and tried to step away from his touch, but his other hand grabbed my hip and held me in place. I was clearly no match for Merle Dixon's strength nor did I try to be. I think I was getting so agitated because deep down I knew that he was right. I was pathetic. What had happened to the Nicole who had wandered the streets without fear? I had been tough then for sure, but somewhere along the way I must have lost my edge and that bothered me. I may have been a closet romantic, but I wasn't some weepy-eyed doe of a woman.

"I've got this," I said with more determination.

His forehead creased with thought, but he still shook his head. Letting go of my chin, he pressed one finger against my heart. "Might wanna work on that resolve sugar. And while yer doin' so just remember all the times he hit ya or made ya do somethin' ya didn't want to do. Don't forget all the times he pushed ya around for the fuckin' fun of it." Merle pushed his finger against me harder, knocking me off balance so that I had to take a step backward. I slapped his finger away hotly, my temper spiked by his taunting. All I could hear was Scott's condescending tone of voice as he berated me for something or forced me to pleasure him just one more time. It was always about him and never about me..._never about Nicole. _Tears welled up within my throat, but they were hot and angry tears.

"Push me again and you'll regret it!" I snapped. "I'm not a fuckin' doormat!"

"Damn right you're fuckin' not. Now when that time comes, you remember that girlie. Remember that fire and stoke it hot cause it's gonna take every damn bit of it. Don't want some snotty nosed woman lookin' all sad an' broken. Ya gonna let him win?"

Damn. I had to give the man credit cause he was good. I felt that old familiar spark slowly start to kindle inside of me and it felt good. I could do this. I wasn't that same scared shadow of a girl forgotten in the corner of that foster home. I was a woman and I could damn sure stand on my own two feet. I had done it before, hadn't I?

...


	4. Chapter 4

**The reviews mean so much to me from you all. I especially like it when I can surprise a few of you with the story. I don't want their story to be another damsel in distress. That isn't what this is about. Nicole wants to change her life for the better, but Merle has his own issues, even if they haven't been spoken aloud yet. Anyway, I thank you all for the support and hope you enjoy this next chapter. Thanks for reading! **

...

The shower I took when Merle finally stepped outside with Daryl helped to clear my head and gave me a lot of time to think at the same time. I stepped out onto the faded blue rug beside the tub and wrapped one of their huge towels around my thin frame. I smoothed the slightly rough cotton down and tucked in the top to create a wrap. I stepped in front of the small pedestal sink and wiped at the condensation that had fogged up the mirror with one hand. For a long time I simply stood there and stared at my reflection. This was the woman I had become, but it wasn't the woman I wanted to be.

My dirty blonde hair seemed to have no life left in it and my face looked tired. All this time that had passed and never once had I really looked at myself in the mirror. I think deep down I was always scared of what I might see reflected back at me in that mirror. Somewhere along the way, Nicole had gotten lost and in her place was a girl I didn't really recognize.

The Nicole I remembered had been full of spunk and had never been short a sarcastic comment. That Nicole took control of her life, grabbed it by the reins and whipped it into shape. She had been full of big dreams and little patience, but she had always been true to herself.

This woman in the mirror...I didn't recognize her. Her hair was too long, her hazel eyes too dull and her body curved in all the wrong places. I suppose I should have known that when you sell your soul to the devil he tends to suck the life right out of you without warning or remorse. Scott had done exactly that and what was worse was that I had let him. I had become a reflection of someone I had never wanted to be. I wasn't that girl anymore though. From this point on, I was determined to find myself again.

The knock at the door startled me and somehow I knew before it was said that it was time. "He's here." Daryl's voice was low and he didn't explain further, but there was no need. It was time to face the music and reclaim my former self. Inhaling deeply, I let the air swirl in my lungs before exhaling it all out in a rush. I quickly rubbed the towel over my wet locks and threw on the same clothing I had taken off. I spared no further glance in that mirror before leaving the sanctuary of the bathroom and heading outside.

I'd be lying to myself if I said that I wasn't nervous as I walked out that door, but I tried my damnedest to hide it. Merle was lounging against the porch, his jaw locked into place as he eyed the familiar black truck parked in the driveway. Daryl stood to Merle's left, kneeling on the ground and running a red rag over his bow. I couldn't believe how casual they looked while I was standing just behind them with my stomach twisted into knots.

At my appearance, Scott exited the truck and just like I thought he had someone with him - a big guy named Jerry I had seen at the house a couple of times. Seeing him with Jerry seemed to confirm his coward status that much more in my head and I began to wonder why I had let him beat me down so much. Scott paused to say something to Jerry and I took the opportunity to move down the steps and stand next to Merle.

"Big guy's name is Jerry," I whispered. "Built like a linebacker, but seems a little slow up top."

Merle's eyes slid to me, but he said nothing in response and I faced forward again as the two men continued in our direction. They stopped a couple of feet away and I could feel Scott's eyes on me, trying to feel the situation out I knew. He glanced at Merle too and he squinted his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest.

"I thought I said one night," Scott said.

"Only been one night Scott," I replied before Merle could say anything.

Scott raised a brow at my defensive tone and I could tell that he knew something was definitely up. He smirked at me, "You feeling brave now, Nicole? That it? Gonna hide behind Dixon here? You think he can save you from me girl?" He and Jerry exchanged glances along with a chuckle of amusement.

"No," I interrupted, startling them into silence. So far Merle hadn't said a thing, but I drew comfort just knowing that he seemed to be on my side even if I needed to do this on my own. Merle had been kind enough to give me a head start, but I knew that I was the one who needed to see this through. "I don't think he can save me, but I _can_ save myself."

Scott smirked and spit on the ground, the phlegm landing too close to my bare feet. I swallowed, but I didn't back down. "You can't save shit Nicole. Where you gonna go baby? Back on the streets? Gonna start sucking dick for a warm bed or just his dick?" Scott thrust his thumb in Merle's direction. I saw the cockiness in his eyes as he took a step forward into Merle's space. "You trying to steal my girl Dixon? Moving onto my territory?" Scott pressed further and I watched the tendons stretch taut in Merle's neck. "You forget who supplies you with the goods?"

"She ain't property to be stolen," Merle's voice was low, but laced with warning. "And as for the other I told ya I fuckin' quit so that don't make you my supplier anymore."

Scott laughed loudly as his buddy Jerry looked on. "Don't be stupid. You and I both know that you won't quit. You're too hooked." He spread his arms open wide and cast me another glance, his smile leaving him. "Get in the truck bitch."

I tightened my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms, "No. I'm not going with you Scott. I'm done." Shit, that felt good. Like the purging of an evil spirit or something.

Scott's jaw twitched and he glanced backwards before barreling towards me. I resisted the urge to run, but luckily I didn't have to. Merle stepped between us, towering over Scott. "If you're thinkin' on forcin' that woman in yer truck against her will then you better think again boy cause she's made her decision," Merle threatened.

Scott snapped his fingers and all too quickly I figured out what he intended. Before I could warn either of the brothers, Daryl had stood and had his bow aimed at Jerry, his finger resting on the trigger. Jerry slowly raised his hands in surrender and Scott's face grew red with anger. He looked past Merle and met my eyes. His brown eyes reminded me of looking into the eyes of a snake, dark and threatening.

"What you gonna do with that little toy bow son?" Jerry sneered.

Daryl didn't flinch a bit. "Bend over an' I'll show ya asshole."

"Nicole," Scott interrupted them, his voice laced with barely controlled anger. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"It doesn't have to be hard," I replied softly. "You've said before that I'm not good for much so here's your chance to get rid of me. After all, I'm just another mouth to feed, right?"

Scott shook his head, disgust written clearly across his face. "Fine. If this is the way you want to play it then have at it. I can find a replacement on any street corner downtown. You're nothing more than a who-"

Merle's fist saved Scott from having to finish his sentence and I cried out in surprise. I hadn't seen that one coming as Merle had remained mostly silent the entire time, letting me handle things my way. I had to admit that it was kind of nice to have Merle step in for me and hit Scott like that.

I noticed that Jerry never made a move to help Scott though, especially with Daryl's bow aimed right at his head. I stared down at Scott lying on the grass with blood pouring from his split lip and I felt nothing but disgust and pity for him. He really was a coward and the more I thought about it the angrier I got until I could almost feel the blood roaring in my ears as it pumped through my veins. Blindly, I stalked forward and kicked him in the nuts making him cry out loudly. It felt good, better than good and I reared back for another kick, this one to his stomach. Even though I was barefoot I didn't care.

Merle's arms circled my waist just as I was about to launch myself on top of the man and beat out my frustrations. He lifted me off of the ground, but I thrust my face forward and spit, smiling madly when it landed near his face. "Let's see how well you perform now, you dickhead!" I shrieked.

Merle chuckled near my ear and I felt his lips brush against me as he whispered, "Easy now. I think ya got yer message across darlin'."

He set me down on the porch steps with an amused shake of the head and knelt down next to Scott who was still huddled on the ground, occasionally groaning. "Guess yer bodyguard turned out to be more of a designated driver, huh?" Merle cackled. "Get yer ass off my grass an' get outta here. You got no more business here." His voice was cold and final.

Daryl remained poised with his bow as Jerry finally bent to help Scott off of the ground. The two of them exchanged words and Scott whispered furiously to him as he got to his feet. I watched him make his way back to the truck and climb inside with Jerry's help. I felt proud of myself for standing up to him. I doubt I would have ever done it without someone in my corner backing me up though. I would forever be indebted to the Dixon brothers for helping me start this new chapter of my life.

As soon as the truck was out of sight, Daryl picked up his bow and walked into the house, throwing me a small nod along the way. I realized that he hadn't even been out there to clean his bow at all...he had been there in case things got out of hand. These guys thought of everything it seemed.

Once Daryl was gone leaving Merle and I alone, I stepped into him, wrapping my thin arms around his large frame. He stiffened and then patted my back a little before pulling away. I watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a cigarette, lighting it up and taking a long drag from it. He leaned both forearms onto the porch railing and the silence between us was almost deafening.

"You're still smoking?" I asked without thinking.

He chuckled dryly, "Gonna tell me it's bad for me? Hell I'm quittin' everything else, gotta have somethin' to hang onto else I'll go batshit."

"I'm not exactly a good judge on tellin' people what's bad for them, in case you haven't been able to tell by my wonderful lifestyle choices," I muttered.

"Hmph. Got plans for what ya gonna do now?" He asked.

He wasn't looking at me and I couldn't really tell by his voice if he was trying to subtly tell me that I needed to move on. Hell, I didn't know why it bothered me so badly that he might want me to leave. He sure as hell didn't owe me anything. If anything, I owed him and I hadn't a clue how I was going to repay him.

"Ideally I'd like to go back to school and take some courses on cooking or something. I mean, there's gotta be something better than this out there, right?"

He chuckled again, but this time there wasn't any humor in it. Taking one last draw from his cigarette, he pinched the tip to put out the fire and tossed it into a small bucket by the door. "Cookin', huh? Gonna be the next Betty Crocker?"

His comment stung me more than I cared to admit, but I refused to let it show. "Maybe," I retorted. "I'll never know until I try, right? At least I'd be off the streets, doing something good for a change." I was getting defensive, but he was making me feel like I was stupid for wanting to cook. I had never been able to do much experimenting while I stayed with Scott, but I had always enjoyed the way that cooking seemed to relax me...take my mind off of everything else and allow me to create something beautiful for once.

"Yeah," Merle's voice was harsh now and he brushed past me, nearly knocking me down as he strode down the porch steps towards his bike.

I didn't understand. Had I said something wrong?

...


	5. Chapter 5

**There's just something about this story that keeps drawing me back. I don't know what it is, but it calls to me. I wasn't expecting to update again so soon, but the muse has a mind of its own so you all reap the benefits of another chapter. Thanks for the reviews! They drive me to work extra hard to make sure that I'm earning them. Thank you all. **

...

"He hates me," I muttered as I walked back inside the house. Daryl glanced up from his position against the kitchen counter and frowned.

"What makes ya say that?" He asked as he licked his fingers.

I shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into things." Or maybe I really just needed to find a way to chill out. I glanced at Daryl as he smacked his lips together. "What are you eating?"

He cleared his throat and held up a jar, "Pig's feet."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, "That's so gross. If you were hungry, you should have said something. I'd have cooked."

He gave me a sideways glance, "Pfft," he said. "Don't expect ya to cook. Sides, ain't much of nothin' here to cook anyway."

I pursed my lips in thought. I was pretty sure I had seen some food in the cabinets. Reaching around him, I pulled open a cabinet and sure enough I had been right. Granted, there wasn't much in there, but I was pretty sure I could make _something_ with what they had in there. I was usually pretty good at coming up with stuff in a pinch.

"There's plenty of food in here," I said. "I could whip something up?" I asked first because I didn't want to just assume that I could cook whatever I wanted. This wasn't my house let alone my kitchen.

"Won't hear me complainin'," Daryl responded as he walked around the island and threw the empty jar into the trash.

Moving around the kitchen, I began looking for the items I needed, with Daryl occasionally pointing me in the right direction. I was relaxing a bit now that I was in my element and feeling useful.

"Merle say where he was goin'?" Daryl asked.

I tensed again at the mention of Merle. "No," I replied.

Daryl made a grunting noise in his throat. "Wonder what got into him? He left quick...somethin' happen?"

I could tell that he was fishing for information and I wished that I knew what to tell him, but I didn't. I really didn't know Merle all that well. Late night drug pick ups didn't always leave much room for conversation.

"No," I said carefully, then, "I'm not sure." I sighed. I wasn't making much sense I knew. I was like a fish out of water and I could feel Daryl studying me, but thankfully he didn't press for further information. I finished cooking and then fixed us both a plate. He seemed startled when I sat it in front of him.

"Could've fixed my own," he said.

I smiled, "I know, but I was already up."

I sat down next to him and watched him pick at it out of the corner of my eye. I held back a smile when he scooped up a bite and sniffed it warily. He hesitantly put a small bit into his mouth and chewed. I think he expected it to taste badly, but he made a small murmur of surprise and glanced in my direction.

"Ain't bad," he admitted with a nod.

I beamed with pride. I couldn't help it. It wasn't often that I got to showcase my talent and it kind of felt good. It would be even better if I could get Merle to give it a try, but for now Daryl's seal of approval was enough.

"Thanks," I said.

He gave a small shrug as he finished his food, "Didn't know ya could cook."

I finished chewing my food and opened my mouth to reply, but I was interrupted by the sound of a bike pulling in. Merle was back. My insides did a little dance of excitement.

Daryl stood and set his plate in the sink as we heard footsteps on the porch and then voices. _Two voices_. The door was thrust open and a busty brunette entered, followed by non other than Merle Dixon. From beside me, I saw Daryl cross his arms and lean back against the wall.

"This oughta be good," he murmured.

"Right this way sugar," Merle said loudly as he slipped an arm across the woman's shoulders.

If I wasn't mistaken, it sounded like he might have been drinking some. The brunette currently clinging to him had definitely been into something as evidenced by her giggles and how she stumbled around. I glanced at Daryl and saw him roll his eyes.

"Maybe if she took off the stripper heels that are two sizes too small for her, she might be able to stay upright," I muttered under my breath.

Daryl looked at me and I realized then that he had heard my remark. He only chuckled and shook his head in amusement though. I had no right to feel this way about a woman I didn't even know, but deep down I knew the reason for my dislike of her was simply because she was with Merle. Merle...who was currently grinning and whispering things into her ear. I watched him usher her into his bedroom and then he paused at the doorway and finally looked at me.

"Gonna borrow my room for a bit darlin'," he said to me. "Won't be too long." He winked at that last statement and disappeared into the room, kicking the door closed behind him.

"Let's get those pants off," the woman's voice traveled through the thin walls and burned my ears.

"Fuckin' christ," Daryl muttered, but I barely paid him any attention. I needed to get out of that house...I needed air.

"Excuse me a minute," I mumbled, brushing past Daryl and nearly trampling him in my haste to get outside. I burst out of the door and inhaled deeply letting the early evening air burn into my lungs.

"Stupid girl," I berated myself. Just because Merle had gotten me away from Scott didn't mean he cared anything for me. Of course, the romantic in me had held out a spark of hope that he might be different. I didn't know why I even bothered. After all, hadn't I just gotten out of one bad relationship? Did I really even want to try and jump right into another? I had looked at that woman in disgust, but deep down she and I weren't really all that different. It frustrated me.

Heading further away from the house, I walked down toward the edge of the woods. It would be so easy to just keep going, to just walk until I couldn't walk anymore. I could start over wherever I ended up, make a new life for myself where no one knew who I or Scott were. It wouldn't solve anything though, running away like that and that's why I merely stood there and stared until the darkness began to surround me. The sound of a car door slamming brought me back from my lost thoughts and I blinked to bring myself back to the present. I didn't even know how long I had been standing there and staring.

Rubbing my eyes I trekked my way back to the porch, not really in any hurry to head back inside. There was no way that I could listen to Merle Dixon fuck that woman.

"I'm done with the room darlin'. It's all yours," His rough voice flowed down to my ears from the porch and I glanced over in surprise. I could barely make out his silhouette, but his eyes gave him away when they glittered in the moonlight shining down. I climbed the steps slowly, each step like a nail to my already stressed out heart. I intended to walk right past him, but I couldn't help the biting retort that escaped my lips.

"Great. I'll make sure to change the sheets first." I grabbed the doorknob to head inside, but firm fingers snaked around my wrist and tugged me backwards. Instinctively, I lashed out and pushed him, "Don't touch me!" I snapped.

He didn't move, but his grip loosened and I couldn't read his expression clearly enough in the dark. "You expectin' things that ain't gonna happen girl," he warned in a low tone.

I swallowed and lifted my chin to stare him in the eyes. It was funny how I hadn't ever had the courage to do that to Scott, but with Merle I seemed to have no problem. "I expect nothing from you!" I hissed, snatching at my hand until he released it.

He chuckled, "I think ya do. Got yourself a lil' crush and ya got your feelin's hurt tonight."

God, how I hated him right now. How dare he act like such an asshole. I could feel my anger burning through my veins like wildfire. "Fuck you Merle." The words slipped free before I could give them more than a passing thought, but it was too late to take them back. I wasn't even sure I would take them back even if I could anyway.

His solid frame had me pinned against the outside of the house before I ever saw it coming. I gasped as his body came into contact with mine and I couldn't help the shudder that ran through me. He seemed to feel it too and when he ran the tip of one finger over the pulse fluttering at the base of my throat, my breath hitched. He leaned closer to me and it was only then that I could smell the faint scent of liquor on his breath.

"You can deny it out loud all ya wanna darlin', but yer body's tellin' me otherwise," he whispered huskily.

God, the things that voice did to me. His fingers fanned out over my throat and he kept his hand resting there lightly as his lips brushed over mine. I mewled softly and tilted my head for better access. "Please," I whispered. I just needed one taste, just one and I could get him out of my system.

"The things I could do to you girl," he growled. His lips slanted firmly over mine then and I slipped my arms around his neck. His hand covering my throat was doing wicked things to my body temperature, but his tongue stroking inside of my mouth sent me soaring into the clouds. He didn't just demand that I respond to him...he coaxed it out of me, drawing it from my soul like some kind of sorcerer. It seemed like we kissed for hours, but I knew it had only been mere minutes before he released my lips. I inhaled deeply, trying to drag in air as well as strength. No kiss had ever affected me so deeply.

He released me and took a step back, rubbing one hand over his face and chin. He turned his back on me and lit a cigarette, leaning against the railing while he smoked. He never said anything and I wasn't sure what he wanted from me. The way he had kissed me...

"Merle?"

He didn't move a muscle and I took a step closer to him, his gravelly voice stopping me from going any further. "Told ya I ain't no fuckin' hero. You want some goddamn knight to ride in an' save ya, but that ain't me."

I bit my lip hard and shook my head, tears of frustration rising to the surface. I blinked them back, "No, you're wrong. I don't want a knight and I know this isn't some fairy tale. You don't know what I want or even who I am. You want me too," I continued, anger laced throughout my words. "You know what I think, Merle? I think that scares the shit out of you."

I didn't wait for his response, but I know he heard me as I walked back inside of the house. He was trying to twist this all onto me, but Merle Dixon had been just as affected as I had been.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry for the long wait on an update. I came down with some version of the flu and it pretty much knocked me out of commission for a week. I got so behind that I'm trying to scramble and catch up now that I'm finally feeling like myself again. Thanks for hanging with me and for the awesome support! It means a lot to me that everyone is enjoying this story. Thanks! **

...

The next afternoon I found myself at the local bar labeled, "Junior's" with Daryl eating dinner. I hadn't seen Merle all day as he had been gone whenever I had awoken this morning. I learned through Daryl that he had gone to work and only then had it occurred to me that I didn't even know what either of them did for a living. It was something so simple, but with everything that had happened it had never come up in conversation. Obviously the two of them had to make money somehow.

Daryl explained to me that Merle worked on a construction crew for a guy named Axel Thomas. According to Daryl, Axel made a living from screwing decent people out of their hard earned money. I could tell that Daryl didn't approve of the man and I sensed that their might even be some deeper history somewhere in there, but I didn't pry and simply acknowledged his comments. It was hard for me to picture Merle Dixon taking orders from anyone, but I suppose it was possible. It would be interesting to see it happen though.

I spent the better part of the day watching Daryl work on a jet-black 1972 Pontiac Firebird. He explained that he was restoring a lot of the parts on the car for a customer. The way that he talked about the car, gently stroking his hands over the exterior told me just how much he enjoyed his job. I admired him in a way, working for himself and not having to answer to anyone. He made his own hours and got to do something that he enjoyed as well. I wondered if Merle enjoyed construction as much, but I didn't ask.

After a long while of silently observing Daryl work on the vehicle, I disappeared inside to straighten up a bit. I still had no idea exactly how long I was going to be welcome here, but I refused to become some kind of unwanted burden. Cleaning up kept my mind occupied as well and lately that seemed to be a good thing. Even though the house wasn't really dirty, there was still a deep layer of dust coating nearly everything. It took a while, but I finally finished and had just freshened up when Daryl had come back inside to ask me if I was hungry.

I had thought we might wait on Merle, but according to Daryl we might starve if we attempted to do that so I agreed. That's how I found myself sitting across from him in a booth at Junior's, chowing down on the house special - double cheeseburger all the way with fries. It was greasy, but I had to admit it was good all the same.

"Ya like my brother."

I raised my brows. He didn't phrase the sentence as a question, but rather a statement and I chewed on my bite of food slowly as I contemplated my answer. There was no use in lying to him because I'm sure it was evident that I was drawn to Merle in a way I hadn't been drawn to anyone before. "I do," I admitted slowly. "I'm sorry." I wasn't even sure why I was apologizing.

Daryl snorted as he licked ketchup from his finger, "Why are you the one apologizin'? I feel like I should be the one tellin' you sorry."

I laughed, "He is a lot to take on, isn't he? I'm still not even sure he even likes me."

"Merle's hard to explain. We ain't had the best kind o' childhood, but I reckon it could have always been worse." Daryl wiped at his mouth with a napkin and slouched back against the worn red vinyl of the booth. There was a faraway look in his eyes and I knew he was thinking back to some time long ago. I kind of wished he would tell me a little bit about them, but I also got the sense that he didn't exactly want to reminisce. "Merle's always had to be the strong one. Prob'ly could have went places with his life, but instead he stuck 'round an' raised me pretty much. Never asked him too, but that's how he is. Blood means somethin' to him even if nothin' else in his life does."

I pushed my empty plate away and mulled those thoughts over. I was touched by how much Daryl respected his brother. It was there, shining clearly in his eyes even if they never showed any affection towards one another. There was a bond deep down there. I had no idea what kinds of things they had experienced together growing up and it made me wish I'd had someone there with me when I had been younger. Thinking about it all only served to remind me just how alone I was and I hated feeling self pity.

"Hey," I said as my eyes lit up excitedly, "let's dance!" I hadn't danced in so long and watching some of the other people in the bar swaying to the music made me long to be out on that dance floor.

Daryl's eyes widened as a panicked look crossed his face. He quickly shook his head, "I don't dance."

"Oh." My face fell and I stared sullenly out at the others. I suppose I must have looked so sad that Daryl took pity on me and stood from the booth, holding out his hand to me. It hadn't been my intention to bait him into it and he must have sensed my hesitation.

"Look, if ya wanna dance then bring yer ass on. Ain't gonna stand here lookin' stupid," he said.

I jumped up eagerly and grasped his hand, taking over and tugging him to the small dance floor. We found an empty space and I twined my arms around his neck, standing close, but not too close that it got uncomfortable for either of us. After all, Daryl was a good looking man, but if I had my pick then I'd rather it have been a different sort of redneck holding me on that dance floor.

It didn't take me long to discover that Daryl hadn't been lying when he said he didn't dance. He moved somewhat stiffly on the dance floor and his hands rested awkwardly on my waist. I would have laughed if I hadn't been worried about offending him.

"We can sit if you'd rather," I suggested.

A look of relief crossed his face and he nodded as we separated and began to head back to the booth. Only this time we had a visitor... Merle. He was sitting on my side staring at us with a weird look upon his face. In one hand he held an empty shotglass that he twisted around and around idly.

"Didn't know you was up here," Daryl commented as he slid into his side of the booth.

I stood there for a moment, but Merle never slid over so I stepped to Daryl's side only to have Merle grab me by the wrist. "Ain't ya gonna ask me to dance darlin'?" His voice was rough and whiskey laced. I exchanged a glance with Daryl who was watching Merle intently.

"Ya been drinkin' Merle?" Daryl asked softly. "How much was it this time?"

Merle's eyes snapped to Daryl, a fire flickering beneath those blue depths. "None o' your concern brother. Why don't ya just sit over there an' look pretty while I show Nikki here how ta dance." Merle slid the shotglass across the table and stood, dragging me close to him.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I asked him.

He slowly turned to me, his gaze burning a pathway over my face. "You'll dance with my brother, but I ain't good 'nough, that it?"

I glared at him even as I saw Daryl start to stand. I glanced at him and motioned for him to sit. "No, it's fine," I said to Daryl before turning my attention back to Merle. "I'll dance with you," I said with a challenging tone.

He smirked and gestured ahead of him with a nod, "Ladies first."

Jerking my wrist free, I straightened my back and made my way over to the dance floor. He was really pushing my buttons, but I was not going to let him bully me. If he wanted to dance then I would give him a dance he wouldn't soon forget.

Another slow song was just starting as we found a space to dance and Merle's hand snaked around my waist, tucking me in close to his body. It was way more intimate than dancing with Daryl, but I didn't have that same physical attraction to Daryl as I did Merle. I almost wished I did because Daryl seemed a lot easier to handle than Merle. Then again, I always did like a challenge and I think that's why Merle appealed to me the most. He was the fire that I craved in the pits of my soul.

I raised my brows when his hands slid past my waist and cupped my ass, squeezing it once before simply resting there. "Careful," I cautioned. "Someone might see that and think we're together."

The corner of his mouth lifted in that lazy smile that made my heart skip a beat. "That ain't even the worst thing I'm thinkin' on doin' right now sugar."

"Oh? And what makes you think that I want anything you have to offer?" I was feeling brave.

His smile disappeared and I inhaled sharply as he advanced. He bypassed my lips though and dove straight for the neck, the tip of his tongue sliding out to slowly circle my fluttering pulse. Inadvertently I tilted my head to the side, giving him further access and he used it to his advantage by scraping my skin with his teeth. I gasped, instantly turned on by the act. My neck had always been a source of weakness for me and it was if Merle sensed it and zoned in on that fact. Using his teeth he bit down on my skin, simultaneously sucking my flesh into his mouth while his hands roamed freely down my backside. I was barely even aware of the fact that we were still moving, our bodies swaying sensuously back and forth to the slow beat of the music.

He released the sensitive skin of my neck and nibbled his way up to my ear and I couldn't contain the aroused whimper that escaped my lips. "Ya like that, huh?" He whispered into my ear.

"What are you doing Merle?" I asked carefully. I was worried about where this was going. I knew if it kept going in this direction my self control wouldn't last very long and I was likely to give into anything he asked of me. However, he was drunk and I didn't want this to be some drunken fuck that we would both regret tomorrow. I had had enough of those in my life.

"Dancin'," he replied.

I shook my head and pulled away from him so that he lifted his head to stare at me. I could see the lust clouding his eyes, but he also had been drinking so he was probably at the point where he didn't care who he fucked just so long as he fucked someone. It wasn't gonna be me...not tonight at least.

"You're drunk and I'm not fucking you." I jumped right to the point.

He blinked and I saw a spark of anger flash in his eyes. "Think you're too good for me?" He rasped.

"Absolutely not," I replied. "I think we're more alike than you know." I stepped closer, sliding my body against his on purpose. I lifted myself onto my toes so that I could whisper near his ear. "I refuse to be some drunken release for you. When we fuck I want you to know exactly what's going on." I punctuated my statement by brushing my hand across the zipper of his jeans. It was a bold move and his arousal was evident and solid as I felt when I did it, but he wasn't going to play me like the woman from the other night.

Ironically the song ended and I stepped away from him before he could get his bearings, weaving my way back through the people back to where Daryl still sat at the booth. There was a pretty brunette speaking to him, but she scurried away as I walked up to the table. I watched her go curiously.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything," I said to him.

Daryl shrugged, his face slightly red. "Nah, yer good. Ready?" He glanced over my shoulder, but I didn't follow his gaze.

"Ready."

...

I wasn't even sure what time I fell asleep, but I instantly became alert when the door to Merle's bedroom swung open. I knew it was Merle by the size of the silhouette in the doorway when it opened and I waited, wondering what he wanted. I could smell the alcohol on him and I hoped I wouldn't have a fight on my hands. It made me feel bad to see him drinking so heavily.

With the door closed, the darkness once again engulfed the room and I lay there listening as he moved about. I heard the sound of clothing hitting the floor and I gnawed at my lip. The bed sank as he sat down on the edge and then lay back on top of the blankets. I turned my head in his direction, prepared to ask him what he was doing when he rolled, one heavy arm draping over my body as he got himself situated. I stared at him in bewilderment and then smiled as he started to snore, his body succumbing to sleep.

Sighing, I shifted to a more comfortable position, harder to accomplish with a dead weight lying across your waist, but I managed okay. I rested my hand lightly over his, letting my fingers trace over his skin and knuckles, rough from his days of working hard with his hands. He mumbled in his sleep, but he never awakened. I closed my eyes and let the sound of his soft snores lull my body back to sleep.

...


	7. Chapter 7

**Another chapter! Love hearing everyone's thoughts! Thanks so much for the comments! **

...

The moan that escaped my lips jerked me into consciousness and I felt my pulse pounding as my body shuddered through a small orgasm. Blinking my eyes to rid them of sleep, I jerked to a sitting position, completely forgetting that Merle Dixon was sound asleep next to me. I had just had a wet dream...a very _vivid_ wet dream if my damp panties were any indication.

I wiped at my face, running my fingers through my hair to rid it of tangles and glanced over at Merle. The bastard was face down and bare ass naked. _Shit_. I knew I should leave while I still had the chance, but I couldn't resist letting my eyes feast on his bare skin. For a man, he had a nice firm ass and I resisted the very real urge to squeeze it. Pushing the blankets off of me, I eased to the edge of the bed and reached for my jeans, slowly easing them up and zipping them as quietly as possible.

A glance at the bedside clock told me that it was still early, about four thirty in the morning to be exact. I wasn't normally such an early riser, but my dream had done more than awaken certain parts of my anatomy and now I didn't think I would be able to go back to sleep. Edging around the bed I headed for the door only to hear the very voice that had taunted me in my dreams.

"Time's it?" Merle's sleep roughened voice husked out.

I paused with my hand on the doorknob, "Around four thirty."

He rolled to his back with a sigh and I was greeted to a full on view of his front side. I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't a sight to behold especially with the way he was at half mast already and apparently oblivious to it all at the moment. He rubbed at his face wearily and stretched, catching my eye finally. Winking at me, he hooked his arms behind his head, not in the least bit ashamed of his nudity in front of me. Not that I was surprised though.

"You can stop looking at me like that," I said. "I didn't have sex with you."

He smirked, that lazy smile that turned my insides to mush spreading across his face. "I may have been shitfaced, but even I know we didn't have sex darlin'," he drawled.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh yeah? How so?" Moving my hand from the knob, I cocked my hip out, resting my hand upon it while I waited on his reply.

He sat up on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving mine. "If we had fucked then ya definitely wouldn't be leavin' this bed in such a bitchy mood," he replied.

I found myself tongue-tied for a response as my brain was instantly flooded with images of Merle fucking me. Christ, what the hell was I doing? He rose from the bed and stalked slowly over to me. Apparently he was pretty confident that I wasn't going to run out because he took his time approaching me, his devilish blue eyes eating me from the ground up.

He leaned one forearm against the wall and towered over me, but I held my ground. "What's got ya so bitchy?"

I really wasn't expecting that question to come out of his mouth and I opened my mouth to reply, but I wasn't quite sure of the answer myself. Maybe it was a combination of things. I had no job, no permanent place to live, and I was lusting after a man who had probably fucked more women than I could ever imagine. He was like a drug...oh God, Merle was my drug. The realization of that thought hit me like a ton of bricks, but I hid it well.

"Nothing. I'm just not a morning person," I explained.

"I got a cure for that," He said softly, his breath barely fanning my face. I groaned inwardly. I should have left the room a long time ago, but yet I was still here.  
>And as much as I was tempted, I doubted that he could really give me what I needed.<p>

I swallowed and slipped out from underneath his arm giving myself some much needed breathing room. "I'm sure you do," I muttered. "Is that why you've been drinking so much?" It was a bold question and liable to piss him off, but I was curious.

He hung his head down and then turned to me, his expression hard and serious. "Ya gonna give me some damn lecture 'bout it like my brother? I'm a grown ass man and if I wanna drink, then I'll fuckin' drink."

His tone rubbed me the wrong way and I clenched my jaw shut firmly. "You know, I was just trying to help. I thought that maybe I'd open the door of communication a little and see if you might wanna talk about it, but I guess that's a negative." I brushed past him, my heart racing. "By the way, you can have your room back, I'll take the couch since I'm gonna be looking for a job soon anyways."

If I had thought Merle Dixon to move fast before, it was nothing compared to how quickly he placed himself between me and my only exit. His eyes were sparking with an intensity that might have scared me if I hadn't already been irritated.

"The fuck you mean, _a job_?"

I looked away from him. I couldn't handle that intensity very long at the time. "I mean that I can't stay here forever and I need money if I'm going to get my own place."

He scowled, stepping into me so suddenly that I backed up a step and squeezed my eyes shut. My mind flashed back to the time that Scott had advanced on me much the same way, nearly knocking one of my teeth loose when he hit me. I waited, but nothing happened and I opened my eyes. He was staring at me, his expression softened considerably, but there was still an underlying tension shimmering just below the surface. My body bounced from being panicked to being aroused by it all.

"Ya think I'd fuckin' hit ya? Do I look like that goddamn pussy you left?"

"I need to go Merle," I whispered.

He used his thumb to stroke slowly across my bottom lip and I couldn't stop the moan that escaped from the depths of my soul. His features were hard, but his eyes... goddamn those eyes, they were eating me alive again and this time I knew I couldn't stop it. His lips hit mine hard, crashing into me in a way that threw us both into the wall, my hands sliding over his bare skin greedily. God, this man could kiss like a Saint. His hands hit my waist and he lifted me fluidly, using the wall for leverage as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I couldn't stop...wasn't even sure if I wanted to anymore.

"Merle," I moaned his name as our lips broke suction, my head hitting the wall behind me. His face plowed into my neck and he sucked my skin between his teeth, nipping it sharply. "Fuck," I muttered. "More...please more."

"Easy now darlin'. Ain't no race...gonna get ya there, relieve some o' this tension ya got," Merle breathed into my ear.

Somehow he managed to get my jeans unbuttoned and unzipped and I arched upwards as his hand slid tightly down into my jeans. The first stroke of his thumb across my lips was like rain in the midst of the desert. He began to kiss my neck as he slid one finger inside of me, slowly exploring me before he added a second finger.

"Ah, God!" I hissed. I grabbed him by the back of the neck and pressed my head into the curve of his shoulder. Unable to resist the temptation of his tanned skin, I latched onto him, marking him for the next woman who touched him. I was leaving my calling card and I could only hope that it lasted a few days...a constant reminder that I had been there.

He growled low, his voice rumbling in my ear as he jerked my shirt up, revealing my tits to his gaze. I watched him lick his lips and then he was sucking my nipple into his mouth, working it over with his tongue time and again. I mewled into his ear, holding on for dear life as he suckled and rolled my nipples between his lips and teeth.

I felt the exact moment that he hit my G Spot and I cried out sharply as he focused intently on it, refusing to let up even for a minute. Weakly I pushed at his shoulder, but I didn't really want him to stop...not ever. And he didn't. He held me up as I lost control, convulsing around his fingers as my body succumbed to a much needed release. I rode him until I was panting for breath and only then did he remove his fingers, my juices coating him as he pulled his hand free.

He swiped his tongue through it and then lightly coated my lips with it. He made a noise in his throat before taking my lips again, the evidence of my arousal smashed between us. He walked us backward and deposited me onto the bed gently, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His erection jutted out hard and proud between his legs and I knew he was hurting. Rolling to my knees I reached for him, but he backed out of reach with a glance at the clock.

"Gotta shower for work," he muttered in explanation.

"I can be quick, I- "

He shook his head in interruption, "Darlin', you put them sweet lips on my dick an' ain't nobody leavin' this room for a long time." His eyes flashed with wicked promises and I felt my insides tingle in response. "I can't lay outta work," he explained.

I nodded...of course I understood, but it didn't stop me from feeling bad about it. I owed him relief, but I also knew he had a job to do. My thoughts were horribly muddled as he rifled through a dresser, pulling out some clothes and casting me another glance before leaving the room to shower. It belatedly crossed my mind that if Daryl was awake then he would get quite the show from his brother striding around in all his naked glory so early in the morning. I snickered at the thought even as I lay back onto the bed in a daze. My body felt boneless and relaxed in way that I hadn't experienced in a long time. A smile painted the corners of my lips as my eyes fluttered shut, sleep pulling me under once more.

...


	8. Chapter 8

**Experiencing a bit of writer's block here lately as well as other things going on that I won't go into. I had some wonderful insight on this chapter though and I thoroughly appreciate the help. You ladies know who you are and I thank you again. Hopefully, I got it right this time. Enjoy.**

...

"Pass me that socket right there?" Daryl gestured vaguely to a selection of tools spread around him on the ground. Luckily, I knew what a socket was and I placed it in his hand. His legs were bent at the knee, his head and upper body covered entirely by the car he was working on. "Thanks," he muttered.

"You're welcome."

"Yer in a good mood," he commented. I felt my face grow flush at his remark and I was glad that he couldn't see me.

"It's a beautiful day out, why not?"

He paused and then snickered, "If that's how ya wanna play it."

I frowned in his direction even though he couldn't see me. "I don't know what you're talking about," I lied smoothly.

He grunted and then slid around, twisting out from underneath the car. He grabbed an old red rag and wiped at his greasy hands. "Anybody ever tell ya you're a bad liar?"

"Anybody ever tell _you_ that you're a pain in the ass?" I accompanied my statement with a mock glare that quickly turned to laughter as Daryl shook his head at me. It was nice to be outside enjoying the day with a friend and being able to laugh about stupid things. I didn't realize how much I would yearn for something I hadn't ever really had until I actually got a taste of it.

I wondered if he knew what had occurred between Merle and I just that morning though. For all I knew, he could have just been teasing me for the hell of it. It was hard to tell with either brother what they were thinking sometimes. They were both sneaky little bastards when they wanted to be I was learning.

Daryl grabbed his bottle of water from the ground and took a long drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand afterwards. He leaned against the side of the car while I opted for the ground, stretching my legs out in front of me to bask in the sunshine. I had pulled my hair up with some rubber bands I found that morning, but I was still in jeans even though it was hot. I still didn't have anything to wear because my clothes were all still at Scott's place if he hadn't thrown them all away. I didn't want to say anything to either of the brothers though because I didn't like being a burden.

"How long do you think it's gonna take you to finish this car?" I asked.

Daryl glanced over at me as he lit a cigarette, sucking in his cheeks as he inhaled the nicotine. He shrugged, "Dunno. Why?"

I pulled at several weeds near my leg, "I was just wondering if maybe you could take me to look for a job today?" I bit my lip as I waited for his answer. The last thing I wanted to do was pull him from his work and I hated to ask him to be my chauffeur, but I didn't have a vehicle of my own.

He stared at me for several moments and then he dug through his pockets, producing a set of keys that he tossed into my lap. "Take the truck." He gestured to the truck parked near the house as I picked up the keys.

"You're trusting me with your truck?" I asked incredulously. We were friends and we had gotten really close, but letting someone borrow your vehicle was a big deal. If I wanted to get technical then we really hadn't known each other all that long. What if I was to just take off with it and not come back? I wouldn't of course, but Daryl had no way of knowing that for sure. I was touched by his generosity to say the least.

"Ya got your license right?" He asked.

I nodded, "Yeah."

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Well I don't see no problem then. It should have 'bout half a tank of gas. Should be enough to get ya where ya need to go."

I stood up and brushed the back of my jeans off, curling the keys into the palm of my hand tightly. I wanted to show my gratitude, but I had nothing to give this man. The keys weighed heavily in my hand as I continued to stand there. I could feel him looking at me and then I took several steps and hugged him tightly, catching him completely off guard. He awkwardly patted my back, holding his cigarette away from me so that I didn't get burned.

"Thanks, Daryl. I won't let you down," I promised.

He nodded and offered me a small smile, pushing teasingly at my shoulder. "God, you're such a girl," he grumbled mockingly. "Get goin' before I change my mind."

Smiling broadly, I took off for the truck. I felt a renewed energy rush through me as I cranked the truck and I sat there just listening to it purr. Several emotions swirled through me, but I was determined that today I would find a job. It was only when I waved to Daryl as I backed out of the driveway that I realized what I was really feeling was freedom.

...

Four hours later I was rewarded for my persistent efforts. The owner at one of the local dive bars, Andrea Holden, seemed to take a liking to me and she agreed to give me a shot at waitressing. The bar was called 'The Ugly Bastard' and I had to admit I was curious about the name choice.

"Okay, I have to ask," I said to her as she showed me around the place. "Why did you call this place 'The Ugly Bastard'?"

She grinned, "You ever go to a bar and see this one drunk chick that fawns all over this dude who looks like he crawled out of a sewer?" She didn't wait for my answer before she continued on, "Well, I see it all the time and I've been to plenty of bars before I opened this one. I used to sit and think to myself, 'Damn, that's an ugly bastard', you know? Alcohol blinds you to appearances and it's true what they say about beer goggles." She laughed, "Anyway, that's where I got the name. Nothing spectacular, but it just seemed right at the time."

I grinned back at her, "Honestly? Out of all of the things I expected you to say, that wasn't it, but I like it. I bet you get asked that all the time."

Andrea shrugged, "I do, but I don't mind. It makes for interesting conversation with the drunks." She brushed her long blonde curls over one shoulder and threw an arm around my shoulder like we were old friends. "I think I'm gonna like you Nicole," she said. "There's only one thing though."

I tensed, wondering what that one thing could be. "What's that?" I asked.

She eyed my outfit, "Tell me you have more clothing options than what you're currently wearing."

I hadn't told her much about my background other than the bare minimum for right now. My life at the moment was a mess and I didn't really feel like it was the right time to unload all of that on someone I had just met. Although, I got the feeling that I could tell her about Scott and that she would understand.

I followed her gaze and stared down at my t-shirt and jeans, suddenly feeling inadequate. I didn't want to lie to her, but then again I wanted this job. I wanted it badly and I didn't want my lack of wardrobe to interfere with the possibility of me obtaining it. I would just have to figure something else out. "I have other things I can wear." The lie slipped from my lips so smoothly that even I was stunned, but to my surprise she didn't question me.

"Alright." She pursed her lips in though and I just stood there like a bug under a microscope. "Be here tomorrow at four and be ready to go. Wear something comfortable, but sexy. Better for tips," she advised with a wink.

I nodded, feeling almost giddy at the prospect of working. I stuck out my hand and she raised her brows in surprise, but shook my hand firmly. "I'll see you tomorrow at four," I confirmed.

A hint of a smile teased her lips, "Looking forward to it."

...

I was so screwed. How in the hell was I going to find myself some decent clothing before four o'clock tomorrow? I pondered the thought of shoplifting as I steered the truck down the residential streets, but I just didn't want to go that route if I could avoid it. I wasn't that person anymore and if I wanted to make a change in my life then I needed to do things the right way. However, I just didn't know what that _right way _was at this moment.

I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel, conscious of the time. It was slipping into late afternoon and I knew that Merle was likely to be home from work by now. I didn't want Daryl to need his truck and not have it either so I knew I needed to find a solution rather quickly.

And then it hit me.

I turned the truck around at the next stop sign and drove through the streets on autopilot. I was searching for a house where a girl named Alexis hopefully still lived. We hadn't been friends really, but she had been on the streets much like I had and she owed me a favor. We had shoplifted some groceries from a store before, but we had been inexperienced and we had both been caught. Alexis had quite the reputation and had even spent some time in juvie for some other stupid stunts she had pulled. To keep her out of further trouble, I took the full blame for the shoplifting and because I had a clean record the manager had decided to let us both go with a warning and the returned grocery items.

We had shared clothes back then some, trading off what we either outgrew or just didn't fit quite right anymore so I knew she was close to my size. I just hoped that she was still in the same location. I slowed to a crawl as I turned down the street, trying to remember exactly which house it was. I stopped in front of an older home with faded grey siding and grass that needed mowing badly. There was a car in the driveway though so I crossed my fingers as I exited Daryl's truck, pocketing his keys safely.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the old wooden door, the sound echoing throughout the house. I listened carefully for a few moments and just when I was about to give up the door opened and there she stood. I couldn't forget her face even if I wanted to. Being on the street, all you saw sometimes were faces and you learned to memorize certain features. I could tell that she remembered me too because her brown eyes flickered with interest.

"I need a favor," I said by way of greeting.

Alexis studied me for several moments and then she slowly nodded, opening the door up wide for me to enter.

...

Merle's bike was the only one occupying the driveway when I arrived back and I parked the truck next to it, sitting there for several minutes before heading inside. On the seat beside me rested a bag of clothing and I took the time to myself to reflect on the day that I had had. Alexis had been more help than I ever could have imagined. Her clothing wasn't new, but it would be more than appropriate for my new job. Currently I had nothing, so anything was an improvement. The outfit I currently had on was one of hers and I had decided to wear it back. It felt good to shed the shirt and jeans for a tank top and shorts.

Knowing that I couldn't sit in the truck forever, I opened the door and headed inside. Merle was in the kitchen when I walked in, shirtless and barefoot...drinking milk directly from the jug. I took in the scene slowly, the package of half-eaten cookies on the counter, his slightly dewy skin that looked damp from a recent shower and his ass that made me salivate when he bent to return the jug to the fridge. Just knowing how that ass had looked unclothed was enough to get the juices flowing and I tried to slide on past without him seeing me.

"Uh, uh, uh," Merle tsked as he stepped around the kitchen island, blocking my path. I don't even know how the hell I had thought I was going to pull off sneaking past, but it looked like that wasn't happening. I stopped in my tracks as his eyes inspected me. I licked my suddenly dry lips, trying to focus on anything but his bare chest and how badly I wanted to see him naked again. I stupidly directed my gaze downward and was greeted to the sight of unbuttoned jeans hanging snug on those delicious hips of his. _Christ._ This man was going to be the death of me. "What's with..." Merle let his words trail off and he twirled his finger around in a circle in the general direction of my outfit.

"I got a job," I said, hoping that he could be happy for me. Instead he frowned and I could feel myself growing defensive.

He crossed his arms, "Where'd ya get a job at that allows ya to dress like that?"

"For your information this isn't what I'm wearing to work and I got a job at The Ugly Bastard."

"So what yer sayin' is that you'll be wearin' much less than what ya got on right now then," Merle drawled.

I slammed the bag onto the counter, but it was plastic and didn't have the gratifyingly loud sound that I would have wanted. "Ya know, you're kind of acting like an overbearing parent right now. I haven't had anyone parent me in years and certainly no one telling me how to dress!"

His jaw twitched and he uncrossed his arms, bracing one hand on the island. "Maybe that's what in the hell's wrong with ya. Workin' at a place like that's only askin' for trouble!"

I blew out my breath in exasperation. Was he really trying to tell me that there was something wrong with me? Why couldn't we just have a normal conversation for once? I wanted what had happened just that morning again. Dominating Merle was sexy, but overbearing Merle was just a pain in my ass.

"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!" I retorted. "I looked all day trying to find a damn job and I was feeling pretty good about it until the second you opened your mouth. The least you could do is to tell me congratulations," I hissed.

The heave of his chest as he breathed in and out was hypnotizing and I looked away from those eyes of his to focus on it. I knew there was more that he wanted to say, but he didn't say _anything. _Shaking my head in disgust I grabbed my bag, but he planted his large palm on top of mine, slamming it back down to the counter. Just like that my insides turned to mush and the chemistry between us soared as he barricaded my body against the kitchen island, the button of his jeans pressing into my stomach as he towered over me.

He wasted no time in taking my lips by storm, drawing me into him with his kiss. I could feel the need transferred from his body to mine and I pulled my lips from his to let my head fall back revealing my neck. His hot lips slid over my pulse and down to the lining of the tank I was wearing. It had a built-in bra and I could tell by the sudden spark in his eyes that this fact intrigued him. He slipped the material over one breast and my nipples hardened as the fresh air hit my skin. I moaned and he slid one hand over my shirt and up until it rested at the column of my throat. He drew my nipple into his mouth and I whimpered shamelessly as his tongue lavished it seductively.

Grasping his hand, I slid it up my throat a little higher and he paused at the action, but didn't pull away. "Harder," I pleaded. He groaned and I leaned back further until my back hit the top of the island. "Fuck me Merle," I breathed.

His nostrils flared and I watched his hands move for the buttons of my shorts. I tried to refrain from wriggling in excitement, but I was anxious to feel him inside of me. I needed to know what this man felt like joined together with my body even though I was afraid at the same time. "I believe we started this shit this mornin'," he murmured.

The sound of the front door opening barely registered to either of us, at least, not until Daryl spoke that is. "Ah, fuck!" Daryl's loud exclamation pulled us from our sexual stupor and I instantly tugged at my tank top to cover myself. Merle didn't seem as bothered by the arrival of his brother, but he did stop and we both cast a look in Daryl's direction. Thankfully, Daryl had the decency to shield his eyes and he had turned his head in the opposite direction. "Goddammit, Merle," Daryl complained. "What in the fuck is wrong with your bedroom? Don't you got a fuckin' bed?"

Merle chuckled, "It's called improvisin' brother. 'Sides, beds are fuckin' overrated."

Daryl's comment had me wondering just how many times he had been in this situation with Merle and some strange woman in their house. I didn't like thinking about it because it made me feel a bit jealous even though I knew it was uncalled for.

As turned on as I was though, I knew we wouldn't be continuing this right now. There was no way I could go in that bedroom with Merle knowing that Daryl knew exactly what we were doing in there. My mind would never allow me to sink back into that moment that I had been in mere moments ago. I knew Merle could tell it too because he pushed away from me with a scowl and strolled into the bathroom.

Daryl made his way into the kitchen, grabbing up the cookies upon sight. He glanced my direction and then paused. I followed his gaze, only then realizing that he must have been looking at my clothes...or lack thereof.

"I got a job," I offered up nonchalantly.

Daryl blinked, swallowing down the rest of his cookie before replying. "Congratulations," he said with a nod.

I snorted, shaking my head with wonder. "Now was that so hard?" I said loudly as I grabbed my bag and left the room leaving Daryl staring after me with a confused expression.

...


	9. Chapter 9

**Been a slow time for updates for me. Had lots of things going on in my personal life that got in the way I think. I'm trying to get everything back on track so thanks in advance for bearing with me. Hope you enjoy and thanks to Sweetkiwi and lucyvanpolevault for all their help! :)**

...

I woke up from an intense dream about Scott drenched in sweat and slightly disoriented. My heart was pounding within my chest and I felt like I had run a marathon when I had really only been running from the demons that chased me in my sleep. Even with him out of my life he still managed to make me sweat I thought bitterly. I must have kicked the blankets off of me in my sleep because they were spilled over the side of the mattress onto the floor below.

I sat up on the edge and ran my hands through my hair, twisting it into a knot and securing it with a rubber band. There was no way that I was going to be able to go right back to sleep after that, but a glance at the clock told me that it was still too early for anyone to be up yet. My throat was dry and I cleared it softly, but it only further enhanced the dryness. Standing up, I headed for the bedroom door and opened it, trying to be as quiet as possible.

As soon as I stepped out of the room the empty couch caught my eye and I turned towards the bathroom to see if the light was on. Only darkness greeted me. Walking as quietly as possible, I tiptoed into the kitchen and almost jumped a foot into the air upon seeing Merle sitting at the island.

He didn't even glance my way as I entered and my brow creased in concern. It was too dark in the room to really see much of anything other than his outline so I switched on the light above the stove so that I could see better. The addition of light illuminated Merle's face and upper body, but more importantly it shed light on what he was staring at.

Several pills lay upon the counter top and Merle's gaze was trained onto them. His faraway expression told me why he hadn't acknowledged my presence. His jaw was locked rigidly and I knew that while I had been battling my demons in sleep, he had been battling them while awake. He was pale and very still, but I couldn't tell if he had taken any of the pills or if he was just battling within himself over whether or not to take them. This wasn't my area of expertise, but I wanted to help him much like he had helped me so much already.

He spoke before I could, "Used to take five ta ten o' these at a time without blinkin' an eye," he murmured. "What's on this table isn't enough ta even give me a buzz, but I want 'em so fuckin' bad I'm bout to gnaw clean through tha side of my cheek." He looked so lost in that moment and I had absolutely no idea how to help him or even if I _could_ help.

I took a step forward, almost scared of moving too quickly. I was compelled to help him though. There was no way I could just walk away and leave him here to suffer on his own. He hadn't taken the pills yet and that was saying something. He was trying and I wanted him to succeed so badly.

"So let's just say that you take 'em," I said softly. "You don't get a buzz and it leaves you wanting more...what then?"

He finally lifted his eyes to mine, sharp blue locking with my dark shade of green. He looked so lost...so unlike the Merle that I had begun to know these past few days. He shrugged his shoulders, "I get more."

He sucked his teeth and I moved closer still until I was within arm's reach. I was doing my best to distract him from the want...from the need. I knew what I wanted to do, but Merle didn't always do what people wanted him to. "Come with me," I whispered, tugging onto his hand.

His eyes seemed to clear slightly and he studied me for a moment. What he was looking for I didn't know, but he didn't budge and I could sense the war within him. "Best ya don't get caught up in this darlin'. It's all on me, gotta battle this one out." His voice was rough and slightly unsteady.

"Not alone you don't," I replied. "Please." I tugged on his hand once more.

His other hand slid across the table and I held my breath as his fingertips grazed the narcotics. It felt as though time itself had been suspended and I waited with bated breath to see what he would do. His body visibly shook and his fingers curled into his palm creating a tight fist that made his knuckles pop.

"It's just to the other room," I coaxed gently in his ear. "You can beat this." I couldn't tell what he was thinking and I was worried I had overstepped some sort of boundary just by being there with him in that moment. "I can take them away," I offered, but he shook his head no and stood up.

"Leave 'em. I'll take care of it." I nodded and he moved away from the table slowly, but at least he was coming. Getting him away from the drugs was the first step. I led him slowly to his room, my pulse steadily increasing its steady tempo.

Once inside his room I shut the door behind us, encasing us in darkness. I could feel him standing mere inches from me and I moved to him in the darkness, drawn to him by some invisible field of magnetic energy. My hands slid up his broad shoulders and back down again to the hem of his t-shirt. I lifted it and began to draw it up his torso. He lifted his arms and I pulled the material free of him, tossing it behind me to be swallowed by the shadows.

Taking him by the hand again I led him to the edge of the bed where I pushed on his shoulders until he sat. My heart ached for him in that moment and I let my fingertips drift over his scruffy cheek. I could feel the tension surrounding him and I felt a desperate need to rid him of it.

"Lie down," I urged, "Sleep with me."

He made a noise in his throat that I couldn't really decipher, but when I crossed to the other side of the bed he lay back onto the mattress next to me. I hesitated for only a moment and then I scooted closer to him, drawn to him by his body heat. I could feel the sheen of sweat that covered his body and I knew that it must be hard for him. Even though I didn't fully understand everything he was going through, I still wanted to be there for him. I could only hope that one day he might let me in.

...

I woke to the feeling of being suffocated only to find Merle's body draped over me like a blanket. The heat from him was causing me to sweat, but I was glad to see that his color seemed to have improved. I attempted to move from underneath him, but apparently when Merle was asleep he was dead weight and I got nowhere in my efforts. With one leg draped over mine I could feel his morning erection pressing into my thigh and it stirred those familiar feelings of desire within me.

Grunting under my breath, I pushed up on his arm only to have it curl around me and tuck me in more tightly to him. I muttered a curse and turned my face towards his, ready to give him a piece of my mind. He was already awake though and watching me with eyes that told me he had something other than sleeping or cuddling on his mind. Gone was the lost and broken Merle from only hours before and the Merle I was accustomed to was back where he belonged.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes and his grip loosened, but I noticed that he didn't let me go. "Gonna have a talk 'bout my feelin's and desires now darlin'?"

"Can't you ever have a serious discussion?" I asked.

His expression changed and he released me completely to roll onto his back. "It's too early for this shit," he muttered. "Shoulda taken the goddamn pills."

My anger spiked and I rolled as well, straddling his belly so that I could stare him in the face. "And just what would that have accomplished? I saw your face last night Merle. You were lost somewhere deep in your own mind," I continued because I knew that he was listening even if he was staring up at the ceiling sullenly. "I know you were because I've done it before. Maybe not with drugs, but I've fought my own demons and made my own fair share of bad choices. I know what it's like not to have anyone there to talk to, to help you, but I'm here for you." I grabbed his face and turned it until his eyes were on me again, deep blue and brooding. "I'm here for you if you'll let me in. I'll do what I can to help you fight this."

"I didn't ask for ya help."

"You stubborn bastard!" I hissed at him and pushed against his bare chest. I saw him move to grab me, but I pushed off of him before he could and made a beeline for the door. Of course he reached me as soon as my hand hit the doorknob and he pulled me back, causing me to collide with his rock hard body. I closed my eyes as sensations rushed through my body at the contact. He turned away from me and locked the door, the noise echoing loudly through the room. My heart began to pound and I swallowed down my instinctive urge to run. This wasn't Scott...this was Merle and he wouldn't hurt me I reminded myself.

"Ya wanna help me?" He rasped.

"Yes."

His lips hit mine, a colossal crash of mouth and tongue. I gripped his shoulders, needing something to hang onto, something to keep me anchored when my body felt as though it would float free from this earth in a swirl of emotion. I wanted this man so badly...wanted to feel him thrust inside of me. I knew he could chase away my demons. He was my drug and I was fast becoming addicted.

"Let me in Merle," I murmured as his lips moved to my neck and my nails dug tightly into his skin. Something in my words gave him pause and I sensed him beginning to withdraw from me. I gripped him tighter in a panic, "No, don't stop!"

He shook his head and pulled free of my grasp, snatching up his t-shirt from where it lay discarded on the floor. His chest was heaving as he pulled it down over his head and he wouldn't stare directly into my eyes. I could only stand there and stare as he unlocked the door.

"I can't give ya what ya need girl," he let the words fall from his lips and then he was gone, shutting the door softly behind him.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall in silence. I didn't really know what had just happened. What had I done wrong? I seemed to be screwing everything up and I didn't even know how. My eyes landed on the bag of clothes sitting on the floor, the only thing I really had to call mine anymore. Stamping down my frustration I grabbed the bag and began to search for something to wear to work. I needed a distraction and this time I needed it _from_ Merle.

...


	10. Chapter 10

**Sweet Jesus, I never thought I would finish this chapter. A big thank you to SweetKiwi604 for her insight and nudging on this one. I'm not _thrilled_ with it, but I wouldn't say that I'm unhappy with it either. Ugh, it's been a busy week and I think that my muse has been snoozing on the job a little. Sorry for the long wait to update and the next update shouldn't take this long! As always, thanks for the reviews - they mean so much. **

...

"Don't look so down. You're doing great," Andrea leaned over to whisper in my ear. She gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

I blinked at her, my mind having taken me back to that morning when Merle had pulled away from me suddenly. I felt like we were caught in the midst of a dance routine that neither of us knew the steps to. He hadn't said much to me since and because Daryl had taken off hunting I was left asking Merle for a ride to work. Luckily, since we rode in on the bike we didn't have to suffer through any awkward silences. I did thank him for the ride to which he nodded in response and told me that he would pick me up when my shift was over.

And so far my shift was going pretty well, at least in my opinion. I had never been a server before, but it wasn't hard. The bar was busy being that it was the weekend so I wasn't the only server there, but I still had plenty to do. Andrea kept me at the bar where she fixed drinks and I just took orders and made sure the patrons were happy.

And I was happy I realized as I wiped at a sticky spot on the bar. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I was doing something for myself, making my own money in a perfectly legal way. I would finally be able to hand over some money to Merle and Daryl to repay them for all they had done for me. It was a great feeling.

I grabbed up an empty glass and handed another customer his order from the grill which was getting ready to shut down for the night. It was nearing midnight last I had checked, but I figured that I would probably be there another hour or two at best.

I don't really know what made me lift my head at that moment, but I did and that's when I saw Merle taking a seat at one of the booths that lined the outer wall. I followed him with my eyes, watching as he sat down, his large body filling up the seat completely. I couldn't accurately judge his mood from this distance, but I did catch sight of his fingertips drumming the tabletop.

"Boyfriend?" Andrea inclined her head in his direction.

"No," I shook my head. "He's..." I paused to consider my answer, realizing that I didn't really know how to classify Merle. "It's complicated," I said finally. "I live with him and his brother."

She nodded in understanding, her blue eyes searching mine. She looked over my shoulder at Merle.

"Why don't you take a break? Take him a drink. What does he like?"

"I don't need a break. Really," I insisted. She had been so nice so far and I really wasn't that tired.

"Everybody is entitled to a break if business permits," Andrea replied. "Take the break." She began filling a glass with beer and handed it to me. "He seems like a Whiskey kinda guy, but since he's probably driving you home then we'll stick with beer." She grinned and gave me a gentle shove in his direction.

I headed over to the table where Merle was smoking a cigarette. He glanced in my direction and much like he had earlier he let his eyes linger on my outfit. My hair was pulled back from my face, but several stubborn strands kept coming loose to hang around my face. The jeans I wore courtesy of Alexis, were tighter than my usual style, but I thought that they accentuated my ass nicely. The shirt was a simple black v-neck that dipped down just enough to give a peek of cleavage.

I slid the beer over to him and sat down opposite him in the booth. He looked at it, but didn't move to take a drink.

"My boss sent that for you," I nodded to the beer. He grunted and crushed out his cigarette, blowing smoke into the air above us. "You here by yourself?"

"Disappointed that my brother didn't come?" He asked.

So this was the Merle I was dealing with tonight - Snarky Merle. Damn this man and his moods. And men thought that women were the complicated creatures on this earth. Obviously these people had never encountered Merle Dixon. I was in a good mood tonight though and no way was I letting his attitude ruin it.

"Maybe," I retorted. "Maybe I like talking to Daryl because he talks back." I saw his eyes flash and I knew that my words bothered him.

Merle smirked and finally took a sip of his beer. "Always was the sweet one, my brother."

I watched him down half the glass of beer, the white t-shirt he was wearing showcasing his muscular arms very nicely. I had never met another man who had filled out a shirt as nicely as this one did. The hardest part was knowing exactly what was underneath those clothes and knowing that I couldn't touch him.

"Compared to you? I'd say so." I smiled at him to let him know that I was teasing.

He shrugged, "All well an' good if sweet's what ya go for." His eyes locked onto mine. "But you ain't into sweet, are ya darlin'?" His eyes said that he already knew the answer, but he waited for my response anyhow.

"What difference does it make? We never seem to get far enough for you to find out."

To my surprise he chuckled, leaning back in the seat with an amused expression. "You an' me, we can't happen."

I simply stared at him and wondered how he had come to that conclusion. Was it because I was younger than him? Nine years didn't seem like all that much of a difference to me. Not with him. "Care to explain why?" I asked.

"Just is." He shrugged his shoulders like I should just accept that answer for what it was, but I couldn't. Why should I?

I struggled to understand this man and his method of thinking. "I call bullshit." His eyes flickered to mine in surprise. "I think you're scared. Maybe I intimidate you, is that it?" I doubted that was the reason, but I knew that the question would irritate him. Maybe if I riled him a little then he would tell me his real reasoning.

"Nothin' intimidates me sugar, especially a woman."

I pursed my lips together. It was time I got back to work, but I had something I wanted to say first. "You know, I get it...these walls you put up to keep people out - I understand your reasons. And I appreciate more than you know how much you and Daryl have helped me. And if you want to deny the attraction between us then that's fine too. But if you're pushing me away because you have this insane notion in your head that I can do better then you're not as smart as I gave you credit for." I punctuated my words by standing up from the booth.

He had plenty of time to reply, but he only stared down at the table, lost in his thoughts. I shook my head in frustration and walked back to the bar. Andrea glanced my way in concern as she chatted with a guy. I offered her a small smile of reassurance and quickly busied myself with work, ignoring the man across the room as best I could.

...

"What a night," Andrea said with a sigh.

We had finally shut the doors for the night and we had finished cleaning several minutes ago. The other girls had gone home already, but I wasn't sure what my plan was since Merle was no longer waiting on me. I wasn't even sure at what point he had left the bar. I just know that I had looked up some time ago to find an empty booth.

"You need a ride?" Andrea asked.

I had no where else to go but back to the house with Merle and Daryl. I sighed, "I can give you the gas money," I offered. I had hoped Merle would come around, but really what had I expected?

She waved her hand at me dismissively, "Don't be ridiculous."

She walked through the bar one last time turning off lights as she went. I stepped out first, waiting as she locked the door behind her. She turned to me and opened her mouth to say something, but we both stopped short at the sight of Merle Dixon straddling his bike in the parking lot. He had both arms draped over the handlebars and his eyes were searing my skin even from this distance. I was at a loss for words at that moment.

Andrea surveyed the scene quietly for a moment. "Should I stay?" She asked me in a low voice.

I glanced at Merle again, but he was looking off in another direction. "No, I think I'm okay," I replied.

"Okay. See you tomorrow...same time."

I smiled at her, "Sounds good. Thanks." She gave a little wave over her shoulder as she headed for her car, leaving me to face Merle. I inhaled deeply, drawing strength before striding across the lot to his bike.

"You stayed," I remarked.

He shook his head, "Nah, I took off an' rode around a bit then came back," he admitted.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say and I continued to stand there even as Andrea's headlights washed over us and she gave a quick honk as she left the parking lot.

"You were right," Merle said suddenly, breaking the silence between us. "I do think ya can do better'n me. I ain't an easy man ta be around even on my best days. I ain't the kind o' man that settles for a woman, but I can't seem to get ya outta my goddamn head. I wasn't gonna come back here tonight, but I did an' I figure that means somethin'."

I stared at him with a dumbfounded expression as I mulled over his words. Just when I had thought that what was between us was over before it had really even started, he went and said something like this that made my insides flutter. Just from knowing Merle this short time I could tell that this was a big deal for him.

"So what happens now?" I asked.

"Ya get your ass on the back o' this bike an' come home with me," he replied.

"And after that?" I couldn't resist asking.

His eyes skimmed over me hotly and I swallowed from the heat radiating from the cool blues. The attraction between us was strong and there was no way that we could deny it. I could feel it coming to a head and I knew that if something didn't happen soon then we were both liable to explode.

He shrugged, but didn't respond as he gestured over his shoulder to the back of the bike. I ran my tongue over my lips, but I knew I was getting on that bike with him. Hell, that's where I really wanted to be anyways and I was kidding myself if I tried to deny it. I slipped my leg over the bike as he held it steady and immediately slipped my arms around his waist. He put the bike into gear, revving the engine loudly and I tightened my hold on him.

...

The house was quiet when we entered, but it was really late so I had expected as much. I headed for the bathroom first to brush my teeth and change into something light to sleep in. Merle was leaning against the wall beside the door when I returned and he closed the door with his boot when I crossed the room to put my clothing away. He was silent as he moved across the room and the only reason I knew he did was because I could feel him...the scent that was all Merle surrounded me and I breathed it in deep. I stayed where I was for a moment before taking one step backward, my body colliding with his.

I gave a startled gasp at how hard he was and my body reacted to it immediately. I let my head slowly fall back until it rested against his broad chest. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Merle," I whispered.

One of his hands slid up between us and he grabbed onto my hair that I had taken down and gave a sharp tug. I parted my lips and his own covered mine. He kissed me briefly, but deeply and from there he moved his warm lips down the column of my neck. I was acutely aware of his body brushing against mine and the light touch of his fingers that slipped just underneath my shirt.

"No turnin' back now darlin'," he breathed against my skin. My eyelashes fluttered against my cheeks and I inhaled sharply when his hand slipped past the waist of my jeans. He grasped my panties, moving them aside and then sunk two fingers inside of me.

I moaned as he began to work me and my fingers shook slightly as I worked at the button of my pants, trying to give him more access to the heart of me. With his hand in the way I wasn't able to pop the button and I growled in frustration even as I felt his soft chuckle vibrate against me. He slid his hand out without warning and spun me around, his fingers grabbing the hem of my shirt. He slipped it over my head and I swallowed, feeling a little nervous suddenly. We hadn't quite made it this far last time and then I hadn't really been thinking about going all of the way with him. The only other man who had ever touched me was Scott and sex with him hadn't ever been anything like I had heard it should be.

Merle's fingers slid underneath the straps of my bra and I lifted my eyes to his. "Don't hurt me," I whispered. He paused and I sensed a hesitation in his movements.

"Ain't nothin' about makin' sweet lovin' s'posed to hurt." His voice was rough and low, but there was something in his tone that soothed me. "Unless," he continued suddenly. "Ya want it to." He waggled his eyebrows at me in the dark and I smiled faintly.

"Maybe next time," I said softly in reply.

I felt cool air hit my breasts and just like that he had removed my bra, tossing it to the floor somewhere behind him. His hands dropped to my pants next and he finished what he had started, sliding them down my hips. Finally I stood before him in just my panties.

"I think that you're still a little overdressed," I remarked.

He chuckled and spread his arms out wide, "Why don'tcha help me out with that then?"

I ran my tongue over my lips and stepped into him, slipping his shirt off over his head. I could feel his eyes following my movements, but I ignored it for the moment as I focused on his jeans. Pushing them down his hips I was greeted with his hard cock that stuck out of his boxers, stiff and ready for action. I hooked two fingers in the boxers next and tugged them down his muscular thighs. He took several steps backward and sat down on the bed, leaning back onto his elbows. I removed my panties and walked over to stand between his spread thighs, a little unsure of myself at the moment.

He grabbed me and tugged me forward, his nose running over my navel and down to the apex of my thighs where he breathed my scent in deeply. I held back a moan as he slid his finger back inside of me. His bare feet nudged my legs further apart, allowing him more room to play..._and play he did_. I had never been touched so gently ever, not even during sex and it was a whole new experience for me. I was used to having to work hard for my own pleasure, not having someone seem so intent on bringing _me_ pleasure.

The way his fingers stroked me...so different from the last time he had done it, but better somehow. I was having trouble maintaining my balance and I rested one hand on each of his shoulders. His tongue dipped into my navel and my legs wobbled as the throbbing between them increased tenfold. Who knew that this rough and sarcastic man could be so gentle and loving? I was lost to the stroking of his fingers inside of me and an intense heat began to spread throughout my body as I leaned more into him, wanting to increase the pressure of them. It felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff just waiting on one little nudge that would send me spiraling over the edge.

I gasped as he removed his hand and I stared at him in open-mouthed bewilderment. "Merle please," I begged softly. He grabbed me with his hands and pulled me down onto the bed, my body toppling over his. I didn't understand what was happening. Was he just going to leave me hanging? Without thinking I slapped his arm, "You can't leave me like this!"

He chuckled softly as he rolled us over, his body pinning me to the sheets. I was breathing heavily and I felt his hand travel between us briefly. Seconds later, he began pushing into me and I went from mild panic to full-blown terror. It felt too much like before, like Scott. Unbidden, Scott's face flashed to mind and I saw him leering at me instead of Merle, felt the way that he forced himself into me. Instantly I began pushing at Merle's arms, my eyes wide and unsure.

"Please stop. Wait," I panted.

He paused only for a second before withdrawing. I heard him curse and then he switched on the lamp beside the bed, illuminating us both with the light. His eyes scanned my body and then met mine, a flash of regret passing through his baby blues. He ran one hand over his head before grabbing a corner of the sheet and swiping it underneath my eyes. I hadn't even realized I had tears streaking down my face.

"Wanna explain that?" He gestured to my tear-streaked face, his expression hard.

"I panicked." I didn't know how else to explain it. Everything had been fine until he had risen over me and then I had just freaked out.

He studied me for a moment and then shook his head softly. "You a virgin? That it?"

I scrambled upwards, scooting to the edge of the bed beside him. "No! I've had sex before," I explained, trying to keep my mind from reliving _those_ memories.

He frowned, "I ain't no stranger to women darlin', an' I'm pretty sure you were likin' the way things were goin'."

I closed my eyes as I struggled to find the words that I needed to explain to this man what I was feeling. "I _was_," I insisted. "But I-"

He stood up so suddenly that I paused and I could feel the tension radiating from his body in waves. He didn't move away from the bed and I sneaked a peek up at him to see him staring off at the wall. Why did this have to be so hard? Wasn't this what I had been wanting all along?

"Ya know what I think?" He asked me then, his voice low and gruff. He didn't wait on me to respond before he continued. "I think ya don't know what ya want. I think that I'm jus' some kinda _distraction_ for you while ya figure out your shit. An' the minute that shit gets real ya wanna back out, that it?"

I stood up too, my chest heaving with every breath. It _hurt_. "No! That's not it! You were _never_ a distraction!"

His intense gaze pinned me to the spot, his words a direct challenge to my very soul. "Prove it."

...


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm a thousand times sorry for the long wait for this! I never intended it to take this long, but things have been so busy as I gear up for the holiday season. Excuses, excuses, I know! Anyway, I hope this makes up for it. Thanks for hanging with me! Enjoy! :)**

_..._

_"Prove it." _

His words echoed through my head and I struggled. I knew I needed to do something to prove to him that he wasn't just some kind of distraction from my time with Scott. He was _more_ than that, more of a man than Scott would ever be. It was hard to see it at first, but I was beginning to realize that Merle had his own insecurities much like I did.

I bit my lip, fully aware of his intense stare burning into me as he waited. Mustering up as much bravado as I could, I slowly slid my hands down my body. My chest was rising and falling rapidly with each breath, but I couldn't stop now. I had to show him. My fingers trembled as they grazed my hips and then I slid one slender finger inside of my folds, stroking myself softly. I met his gaze and saw that his eyes were transfixed on my hand, but slid back to my own as I continued.

No one had ever watched me pleasure myself before and I felt horribly vulnerable in that moment, but I pushed through it for him. His intense focus only magnified any sensations that I was feeling doing this. Over and over I rubbed my clit, adding another finger as my body temperature kicked up several notches. I was on fire, a raging inferno of need that consumed me so completely I thought it might smother me, but it didn't.

"Merle," I panted softly. I moved my fingers faster now, chasing that orgasm that I so desperately needed. I held back, wanting to make sure that I had his full attention on what I was saying before I lost focus. "Does this look like I'm backing out?" I moaned as a spark of pleasure ran through me making my legs shake. "I'm here...all of me. I don't know what more you want, I jus-"

I gasped as he grabbed my hand suddenly, pulling my fingers free just when I had been on the cusp. He lifted my hand and slid both of my fingers into his mouth, his tongue swirling over my skin and bathing me with that heat. I watched with a transfixed gaze, barely hearing the crinkle of plastic as he slid the condom on with one hand.

His hand slid around my hip and he tugged me forward onto his lap. The action caught me off guard and I nearly went sprawling, but he was there to catch me. And catch me he did as he centered me over his cock and pushed at my hips, driving me down onto him in a movement that took both of our breaths away. My body twitched around him, adjusting to his long length. There was a fullness there that I had never felt before.

My hands slid up his shoulders and I lifted my lashes to sneak a peek at his face. He was staring back at me, eyes halfway closed as he lifted his hips and thrust into me. I moaned, my head falling back of its own accord. He grasped my hair and pulled on it snugly making me arch my back out further. With this new position he bent his head and found my left nipple, sucking it into his mouth greedily.

I whimpered, the contrast of his upward thrusts and tight hold on my hair sending my body reeling into an orgasm that completely took me by surprise. "Merle!" I arched my body as high as it would go before bringing myself back down onto him again. Aftershocks spun through me like fireworks and I was barely aware of his mouth moving from my breasts to my collarbone and then to my neck. My body is still reeling from that orgasm, my thighs quaking just slightly from the intensity of it all. I had never felt anything like it before and I knew that I was hooked.

I was barely aware of being moved until I was suddenly bounced down onto the bed, flat on my back. My gaze flickered to his and he smirked at me, his dark eyes sending thrills shooting down my spine. He grabbed me under my thighs and tugged until I rested at the edge of the mattress. I waited for him to thrust into me, but he got down onto his knees instead. In that instant I knew exactly what he was going to do and I moved to cover myself, feeling self conscious suddenly. Of course I was no match for Merle Dixon on a mission and he lifted my hand away from myself and wedged his body between my thighs, spreading my legs open wide for him.

"_Merle_," My voice sounded pleading to my own ears and I wasn't sure if I wanted him to stop or hurry up and put that sexy mouth on me.

I felt his mouth on the inside of my thigh, his lips trailing smoothly up my sensitive flesh and I felt my stomach do flips in response. It seemed like an eternity before his large fingers spread my lips and then I felt his tongue lick up my center. I gasped and grasped blindly at the sheets, grabbing a fistful in each hand to hold onto. He chuckled and I moaned as the sound vibrated throughout my body. Lifting my head I could see Merle's eyes fixated on me and the raw heat shining through them had me bucking helplessly into his face.

He closed his eyes and buried his tongue into me deeper, licking and sucking my clit until I'm pretty sure I'm going to burst into flames from the heat between us. Realizing I was holding my breath I released it and a moan escaped my lips. The image of this large and sexy man buried between my thighs only enhanced the sensations that rolled through me.

"Please," I whispered, surprising both of us. "I need you. Please."

He pulled his mouth away from me slowly and stared at me for long moments before he nodded. He climbed to his feet and I felt myself tense a little, not knowing if he was going to climb on top of me and steeling myself to keep from freaking out. Instead he lifted my legs, his knees bracing on the edge of the bed and in one motion he thrust into me. I cried out at the feel of him, my legs wrapping around his hips as he fell into a steady rhythm. His hands traced all over me, my body on full display to him and he rubbed the pad of his thumb over my clit. I wished that I could reach him, but at this angle the only thing that I could do was to hold on and enjoy the ride.

And enjoy it I did.

My eyes grew wide as I felt another orgasm cresting and I had never come twice before, ever. I figured he was close too because I saw his jaw clenched tightly, his muscles tensing and then the pleasure shot through me, blinding me to everything around me. I cried out as my emotions consumed me, my mind numb to it all but the pleasure that I was feeling. Vaguely I heard him mumble out a '_fuck_' and then I felt his body relax, my hips slowly sinking back onto the bed.

I felt him moving around me, but my body felt limp and boneless, my eyelids feeling too heavy all of a sudden. I thought he was leaving me alone and I wanted to call out for him to stay, but then I felt the bed shift and he was there, his familiar scent surrounding me. He drug me across the bed, throwing a sheet over us both. I nestled into his side, feeling content and just before I drifted off I felt his arm drape around me.

...

When I awoke the next morning I was disappointed to find out that I was in the bed alone, the sheets tangled around my naked body. When I glanced at the clock I saw that it was already lunchtime and I slowly drug myself out of bed. There was a noticeable ache between my legs and I winced as I began to get dressed. I took my time picking out an outfit, trying to choose something that I thought my catch Merle's attention. I wondered what kind of mood he would be in this morning and I hoped that he didn't regret our night together. I knew that I wouldn't change anything about it.

Finally satisfied with my appearance, I left the room only to find the house empty of both men. Frowning, I stopped at the kitchen for something to drink and spotted them both outside in the driveway. Heading out, I saw that they were working on a car together. Merle was under the hood and Daryl was laying half inside of the car and half out, his head shoved under the steering wheel.

"Turn it again," Merle ordered, his long arm reaching down into the engine.

I stood behind him, sipping on my drink and just simply enjoying the view in front of me. With the way that Merle was leaning I got a front and center view of his ass.

"I did fuckin' turn it. I think that's the problem." Daryl's voice was slightly muffled from the interior of the car.

Merle leaned over the side, his shirt riding up and I tilted my head, leaning with him. "That ain't the problem," Merle replied gruffly.

"Fuck you say," Daryl retorted, his lithe body twisting in place. I could see his long legs and boots sticking out from under the open car door.

"I think you're both the problem," I said suddenly. Merle lifted his head and turned in my direction, our eyes meeting. I couldn't accurately read his mood, but there was an underlying heat in his eyes that was unmistakeable. "You're both too stubborn," I clarified with a teasing smile.

Merle turned around slowly and leaned back against the bumper of the car, crossing his arms over his chest. I let my eyes travel slowly over his large frame, remembering every bit of our night together. He smirked as my eyes met his again and I knew that he was reading my look.

"Look who's talkin' darlin'," Merle replied. "Sleep well?"

My face grew hot even though I tried to fight it. Even though I was pretty sure that Daryl knew what was going on, I still didn't want to be too blunt about it.

"You should have woke me up," I said under my breath.

"You was sleepin' like the dead. Musta' been worn out. Long night?"

I glared at him then, realizing that he was deliberately teasing me. A part of me wished that he had been there when I had woken up, but deep down I think I knew better. Merle wasn't the type to do things like that. Still, it had felt like kind of a big deal to me, us being together for the first time. I had hoped he might feel the same. I consoled myself with the fact that at least it didn't seem like he was pulling away from me. That had to be a step in the right direction, didn't it?

"Fuckin' Christ! You two are somethin' else," Daryl grumbled as he climbed to his feet and wiped his hands off on his already dirty jeans. "Either fuck or don't...either way I don't wanna hear 'bout it."

Merle snorted and reached out with his hand to cuff Daryl in the back of the head. Daryl spun on him and they went at it, rough-housing with each other across the yard. I watched them, a small smile teasing my lips as they worked each other over. They were both growing on me...far too quickly. I was in over my head and I knew without a doubt that if this thing with Merle didn't work out then I would be the one heartbroken in the end.

And that terrified me.

...


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the wait between updates! Every time I think I am going to get some downtime, stuff and thangs happen and I get busy. Who knew I had a life?! LOL, thanks for reading and enjoy! :)**

...

"You're in a good mood this evening," Andrea commented as I restocked several items behind the bar. It wasn't too busy right now, the weekend rush of people not having arrived yet.

I felt my face flush at her comment, but I couldn't deny it. I _was_ in a good mood. Merle had brought me to work on his bike and although we hadn't said much there was no mistaking the heat that had lingered in his steel blue eyes. He wanted me and that made me deliriously happy. He was supposed to be picking me up after my shift was over tonight and I couldn't wait to see him. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for a repeat of last night's events. It was all I had been thinking of all night and that must be why I kept grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah, I guess I am," I responded vaguely.

Even though Andrea acted more like a coworker than a boss, I still didn't think it would be appropriate for me to discuss the real reason for my smile with her. Secretly though, I was nearly bursting at the seams to discuss it with someone.

"Good sex'll do that to you." Regina commented with a wink as she brushed past Andrea and I to grab two plates of food from the window behind the bar. I could feel Andrea's eyes on me, but I kept my focus elsewhere knowing that my face was beet red.

I didn't know Regina that well, but she seemed nice enough. She greeted me with a smile whenever she saw me, but she didn't talk too much to me yet and I guessed it was because she really didn't know me either. With her long brown hair that curled around her face, she definitely didn't lack for attention I had noticed. She was thinner than I was even though I didn't consider myself overweight at all and her boobs were bigger, but I had mentally debated that they were fake.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I glanced up to see Andrea smiling at me. "Hey, you okay?"

I cleared my throat and nodded, "Yeah, I'm good."

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?" She retained a completely serious expression while staring at me and I smiled at her in agreement. Thankfully, she was distracted by the appearance of several more patrons entering the bar and I was granted some breathing room for the moment. As much as I craved the female connection, I still enjoyed my peace and quiet and being around the crowds at work was sometimes overwhelming.

"Well, well, if it ain't Merle Dixon himself! Come here you sexy bastard!" Regina crooned near my ear and I felt my whole body stiffen in response. Surely there wasn't more than one Merle Dixon in town so obviously she had to be talking to my Merle. Wait - _my Merle?_ Oh shit...I really needed to get a grip. Nonchalantly I glanced up in that direction.

Sure enough, there stood the man himself, the one who less than twenty-four hours ago had been buried between my thighs like I was the last supper. Just remembering that moment made my insides tingle as heat spread through my body.

However, the feeling was short-lived as I watched Regina flirt shamelessly with him. Sure, she didn't know that I shared a place with the Dixon brothers, only Andrea knew that, but it still hurt to see it regardless. Merle wasn't mine to claim. We hadn't discussed anything between us and I had no rights to be jealous.

Except I was. Insanely jealous and slightly pissed.

I probably would have been okay if he hadn't slid his arm around her at that moment, resting it dangerously close to her ass. An ass, which might I add, was not as curvy as mine. It was a small victory in a series of hurdles that I knew I would undoubtedly have to face.

I glanced over at Andrea out of the corner of my eye and saw that she was chatting it up with several customers so she hadn't noticed the interaction. I was grateful because I knew that she would have likely looked at me curiously, perhaps even pitying me to an extent. Pity was the last thing that I needed right now.

I kept one eye trained on the two of them as I refilled a guy's beer, barely keeping from spilling it over the edge. I saw Daryl come in the door at that moment and his eyes swept the bar, nodding at me in greeting as ours connected. I returned the nod, attempting to smile, but I doubted that it was convincing. I watched Daryl stop at the sight of Merle with Regina, who was now standing on her toes to whisper into his ear. I watched his fingers brush the cheek of her ass and I froze in place, unable to tear my eyes away from them. Daryl's eyes were wide, his gaze sweeping from them to me and I knew he was ashamed of Merle's actions, but just like me there wasn't really anything that either of us could do about it.

Swiping an empty glass off of the bar, I pocketed the tip I was left behind and tried to forget that he was even there. It was next to impossible because his voice carried and pretty soon his booming laughter drifted to my ears making them burn. Inhaling deeply, I headed over to Andrea and tapped her on the shoulder, trying to keep my face neutral.

"Can I take a break?" I asked quickly.

Her eyes widened briefly. It was highly uncommon for me to ask for a break and most times she had to damn near force me to sit for a few minutes so I knew she was likely wondering my reasons for asking.

"Of course. We're not busy so take your thirty. It's unlikely you'll get the chance to later anyway."

...

I smiled at her gratefully and slipped from behind the bar, heading straight for the stock room in the back by the bathrooms. There wasn't an official break room because most of the time we didn't really take breaks, but the stockroom held a circular picnic table and a few lockers for us to store purses and things during our shift. I knew it was the place that I was the least likely to be bothered and that was what I was aiming for as I pushed inside the heavy wooden door and let it fall shut behind me.

I ran my fingers through my hair and took deep calming breaths. What a jackass Merle Dixon was. And what a fool I was for thinking I could change him. I guess he was right all along when he said that he wasn't some sort of hero. Maybe I had inadvertently put him upon some sort of pedestal. Why was I so stupid?

"Fuck him," I muttered under my breath.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the door burst open and in strode the man of the hour himself. He took stock of the room, noting that I was the only one inside of it and then he turned and flipped the lock on the door, the sound echoing loudly. It didn't help that the man had to look like every woman's secret fantasy with his black tee that hugged his muscular arms and those damn jeans that housed the incredible ass that had been riding me last night. Group those with that baseball cap he was wearing and you had a recipe for disaster.

"I'm on a break Merle," I forced out the words, surprised at how calm I sounded despite it all.

He flashed me that killer smile of his, the one that could drop the pants off nearly any woman. "Yeah, can see ya pretty busy sugar," he replied sarcastically.

He sauntered over to me and I slowly backed up until the back of my thighs hit the wood of the table, stopping my retreat. "What are you doing?" My voice was now a near whisper as my pulse pounded.

His expression grew serious for a split second. "Had a hard afternoon darlin'. Needin' some distractions."

I wanted to ask why it had been so hard, but he slid his arms around me and his touch threw my thoughts off track. "Sure looked like you were pretty distracted enough out there to me," I responded a bit sourly.

He drew back slightly and stared down at me with a frown. He studied me quietly for a moment and I tried to look away, but he forced my chin back around to him with two fingers. He let out a low whistle, "If I ain't mistakin', I'd think you were jealous."

I rolled my eyes and tried for a nonchalant expression. "Whatever. You're free to fuck whoever the hell you want, right?"

His eyes iced over, his hands loosening their grip on me and I could feel his warmth leave him, replaced by an icy chill. "That's right," he agreed and I internally flinched, knowing that I was right. "If I wanted to _fuck_ every woman in this whole damn bar I could."

God, his words hurt me more than I had anticipated and I jerked away from him to take a seat at the picnic table, feigning interest in counting my tips. He stood there staring down at me for several moments and I could almost feel the tension blanketing over us both, suffocating me with its intensity.

"Good," I responded with an air of indifference. "Why don't you then?"

He sucked his teeth, his eyes boring holes into me, but I couldn't look at him. Call me a coward but I couldn't face him right now. If I did then he would likely see all the of hurt and love that I was trying so hard to mask. After several moments of silence he turned on his heel, the lock clicked, and then the door swung open and shut, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

My fingers closed tightly around my money and I stuffed it back into my pocket. I still didn't even know how much was there and I really didn't even care at the moment. All I wanted to do was run away and pretend that I had never met Merle Dixon, but I knew that would be impossible. Running away might have worked for me when I was just a teen and without a care in the world, but I had grown considerably since then and I knew running away would change nothing. My heart would still hurt and I would still ache for that man even though I would never tell him. It was my own fault and I only had myself to blame for falling for him in the first place.

Merle Dixon might have saved me that day with Scott, but he ultimately hadn't done me any favors. I was still stuck in a relationship...the only difference was that this time I was free to come and go as I pleased. Only I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay, but I wanted him to _want_ me to stay and I was afraid that that was never going to happen.


	13. Chapter 13

**I hope this comes across the way that I saw it playing out in my head while my fingers were flying over the keys, desperately trying to keep up with my brain. This one tumbled out of me with the force of a rocket and I was just along for the ride, my body working on autopilot to transfer these images through words for you all to read and hopefully enjoy. Once again, I'll say how much I appreciate the feedback. The story doesn't truly come to life without an audience so thanks. **

...

Despite my sour mood I managed to pull myself together enough to head back to work, but I was still steaming and feeling the sting of his actions. Thankfully business began to pick up and Regina didn't have time to stop and chat with him any longer. I kept wanting to glance in his direction, but I forced myself not to. I wanted to make him feel the same hurt that I had earlier, but at the same time I just wanted to crawl into a hole and cry all of my tears and rage out until I was spent.

Regina was friendly towards me the entire night and I responded back to her in kind, knowing that it wasn't her fault she didn't know that Merle and I were...what were Merle and I exactly? The fact that I couldn't even answer that question only served to further fuel my anger towards that man. He was really good at pushing my buttons. Sometimes it seemed like he got off on it, but it was hard to tell.

"Hey sweetheart, how about another beer?" A dark-haired man at the bar asked me, gesturing to his empty bottle.

I smiled at him and reached into the cooler, pulling out a fresh bottle while depositing the empty in the trash can behind the bar. I started to walk away, but he reached out with his hand and caught my wrist. I gasped. The grip wasn't tight or threatening and he slowly unwound his fingers at my expression, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

"Easy," he said soothingly. "Just wanted to talk to you a minute."

I propped one hand upon my hip and waited. "I'm kind of busy at the moment," I replied.

"I can see that. Should I order some food so I can steal a minute or two of your time beautiful?"

I flushed under his words even though I wasn't attracted to him in any way. He looked nice enough. With brown hair so dark that it was almost black, brown eyes, and a nice physique, I was sure that he didn't have any trouble attracting women. He just wasn't _my_ type. It appeared that I had a thing for stubborn assholes and this guy seemed too nice for that. However, maybe it wouldn't hurt to flirt a little and see if I could get under Merle's skin. Besides, if Merle was free to fuck any woman in this bar then the same went for me, right?

I smiled at the dark-haired stranger, "What's your name?"

He flashed a smile in my direction revealing a row of perfectly straight teeth, "Alex."

"Nice to meet you Alex, I'm Nicole, but I go by Nikki."

He slid his hand out to me and I blinked in surprise. Was he really going to shake my hand? I slid my palm over his, licking my lips a bit nervously. This whole thing just didn't feel right to me. I wasn't this girl who could just float back and forth between men.

Seeing a customer waving a bottle at me, I excused myself and for the next hour I worked steadily, the patrons piling inside the bar. I poured beer after beer and carried multiple baskets of food to people, forgetting that Merle was even in the room. When the bar began to empty some, I moved out onto the floor, completely forgetting about Alex and my plan to flirt. I was focused on getting the empty tables cleaned, trying to help Regina out in any way that I could as she continued to wait on a few tables.

I felt a large hand on the small of my back as I finished wiping off a table and I straightened instantly, whirling around and coming face to face with Alex himself. Shit. I hadn't even known that he was still here. I smiled at him in a friendly manner, stepping back a couple of paces to put a comfortable distance between us.

"I don't see a ring on your finger so I'm assuming you're not married?" I shook my head no. "Boyfriend?"

That was the million dollar question right there. I bit down on my lip and mulled over the best way to answer that question. That's when I felt him, his unmistakable presence behind me, a silent, but deadly force to be reckoned with.

"Fuck off," Merle growled from behind me.

I let out a deep sigh as Alex raised his eyebrows, making a hasty retreat from me as he moved on to more suitable conquests. Smart man. Merle would have killed him anyway, I thought. How dare Merle Dixon chase away someone interested in me and still not answer the question that I so desperately sought an answer to?

I whirled on him and poked my finger into his chest, his eyes widening in surprise. "So, the same rules that apply to you don't apply to me as well, huh?"

He tilted his head, his eyes narrowing onto mine. "You puttin' yourself out there on the market's gone get ya more than you're bargainin' for darlin'."

"Excuse me?" I hissed. "You can run your fingers all over Regina's _ass, _but I can't even _talk_ to another man?"

His eyes hardened to glassy steel, his jaw taut with tension. "He was gonna eat you alive darlin'. He ain't nothin' but a smooth talker, tryin' to get into any woman's pants he can get."

"And what if I wanted him in my pants, huh?" My voice was rising with my anger, but I was steamed. Glancing over at the bar, I saw Andrea watching us and she caught my eye, motioning towards the door for me to take this outside. I nodded in response, stalking outside and not waiting to see if Merle would follow. I knew he would. No way would he let me have the last words.

As soon as the door swung shut behind us, Merle grabbed my arm and led me over to their truck that was parked at the edge of the lot. Opening the door he boosted me inside, scooting in after me and shutting the door, enclosing us both into darkness. I was breathing heavily, adrenaline surging through me as I stared at him in the darkness. The lights in the lot didn't spill this far and it was hard to see him clearly, but I could see enough to tell that his jaw was still firmly set. Good. Let him simmer on that a bit.

"If you're not going to say anything then I have things to do. I have a job here for Chrissakes Merle."

He started speaking then, his tone so low that I had to slow my erratic breathing just to hear him well. I watched his finger trace the shape of the steering wheel.

"Guy dropped by the house this afternoon lookin' for me," he began. I turned toward him, giving him my full attention and wondering where this was going. "Jus' got out of prison he told me, served five years for drugs. Used ta hang out long time ago."

I swallowed, "Go on." My voice came out in a whisper, too afraid to speak any louder for fear of ruining the moment.

Merle chuckled dryly, shaking his head in disgust. "Had himself a goody bag full o' treats for me an' him. It was like Halloween...only it wasn't candy." His eyes swung to me in the dark and my breath caught in my throat. I feared for what he would say next as I waited for him to continue, praying that he would let me in again.

"I ain't never wanted nothin' more in my life than what that bastard had in his bag, but then I looked at my brother." Merle glanced down at his hands in his lap and instinctively I reached over and grabbed his large hand in mine, squeezing tightly for support. "Daryl was lookin' at me like he had jus' been kicked in the goddamn balls. I knew what he was thinkin'...thought I called him over to party, but I didn't. The way he looked at me, it was like I had betrayed him, like he almost had expected me to do somethin' this stupid, but it hurt him all the same." He swung his dark gaze back to mine and I felt his anguish radiating off of him in waves. "He looked at me like I was the devil."

I sucked in a breath at his confession. I knew he didn't open up easily and I searched for something to say, some way to make it all better. Climbing to my knees, I slid over him, straddling his lap and I cupped his face between my palms. "Daryl loves you," I said softly. _I love_ _you_.

"I'm an asshole sugar. That's jus' a fact an' it ain't likely to change no time soon."

"I'm not into sharing Merle," I blurted out.

His body stiffened. "What?"

I ran my hands up his chest, stopping at his shoulders. "I won't have sex with you knowing that you're free to have sex with other women. I won't share you," I repeated firmly. _Oh God, oh God. Please don't hurt me. Don't break my heart Merle. _

"You're not fuckin' him." His voice was sharp, laced with a fire that stole my very breath. I shook my head no, my thoughts scattered. I could feel his erection pressing into my faded jeans and unconsciously I ground my hips into him a little. His hand palmed the back of my head, fingers tangling into my hair tightly. He pulled me to him and kissed me like he had never kissed me before.

His tongue swept my mouth, lips slanting hotly against my own as he kissed the breath from my lungs. His hand tugged on my hair sharply, causing my mouth to open further and my body to arch into his once more. He chuckled against my lips, his tongue darting out to trace their outline.

"You're fuckin' _me._" I moaned at his statement...my body on fire for this man. I needed him with a passion that I didn't know that I possessed. And as I stared down into his blue eyes that I had memorized, I could feel that he needed me too.

I reached between us and hurriedly unbuttoned my jeans, feeling him move around as well, his belt clinking as he unbuckled it. I shucked my jeans to the floorboard and he grabbed me, his large hands palming my ass without waiting for me to remove my panties. We were both panting, the need to touch each other overriding everything else.

I moaned as Merle's hands ripped the crotch of my panties, the material shredding easily from his strong fingers. He pushed me down onto his cock, his hardness thrusting into me, filling me completely. I bounced onto him, riding him as if the devil were chasing us both. He shoved my shirt and bra up over my chest, latching himself onto my nipple, never breaking stride. I moaned, tossing my head back and he grabbed my hair again, forcing me to stay in that position. I was so swept away by my own arousal that I never once felt trapped that familiar anxiety etching its way into my body.

This was Merle...my Merle and though he might be an asshole from time to time, he had never hurt me.

I clung to him, pushing my hands beneath his shirt to rake my nails across his chest. I felt his breath hitch and I smiled, delighted to make him feel that way. Lifting my head I buried my face into his neck, inhaling his aftershave into my lungs. I licked his skin and he began to lift my ass, making me fall onto him harder and harder.

"Make me forget Merle," I murmured into his skin and he breathed out deeply, his body on the edge of desire. I looked into his eyes and thought I saw something in the darkness, some spark of emotion that he tried to contain. I cried out sharply as my orgasm hit me full force and he pushed my face into his neck, muffling my cries. Something about his scent drove me to sink my teeth into him and I did, sucking his sweet skin between my lips as the aftershocks pulsed through me. He thrust into me once more and muttered a string of curses as he spilled himself inside of me.

I took a second to catch my breath, vaguely aware of his hand resting against my back, his fingers tracing smooth circles over my skin. I loved these subtle glimpses into his softer side, but as much as I wanted to stick around and do all kinds of questionable things to his body, I knew I had to get back to work. Andrea would be looking for me and I couldn't let her down after all she had done for me so far.

Reluctantly I slid off of him, shimmying my way back into my jeans and arching my back as I zipped them up. I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced over at Merle who still sat silently, gazing off into the darkness through the windshield.

"Merle?"

He turned toward me and I leaned forward, letting my lips graze his with the barest of touches. "You gonna take me home tonight?" I asked.

His stare burned into mine for a few seconds before he nodded. "I'll be here."

I smiled softly and squeezed his arm before climbing out of the truck, smoothing my clothes down a bit. I realized that he and I still hadn't discussed our relationship, or lack thereof, but I felt like we were making progress. Merle was like a Rubik's cube and I knew that he was damn near impossible to figure out, but I knew that with time and effort I would find the answer to unlocking his secrets. I just had to be patient.

"Baby steps," I murmured to myself as I took a deep breath before walking back inside the bar.

...


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter as a whole, but I've spent the better part of the day playing with it. I keep going over it in my mind, but the muse keeps pushing me in this direction so that's where I guess I'm going. Sometimes the muse is a bitchy and bossy little thing. Would love to hear your thoughts as always. Thanks for reading! **

...

I couldn't sleep.

I tried, but the night's earlier events kept replaying in my mind, over and over again like a movie stuck on repeat. I kept seeing Merle's face when he had opened up to me in the truck outside of the bar...his expression lost and distracted. I saw him snarling at Alex, silently threatening him without ever saying a word. The jealousy had raged in his eyes combined with a heat that I hadn't ever seen before.

Then there was Regina, my coworker and a woman I had developed a sudden dislike for even though she hadn't directly done anything to me. She hadn't known about Merle and myself - hell, _I_ hadn't even known about us. Our relationship - or lack thereof - had my emotions in such a disarray that I barely knew if I was coming or going anymore.

Andrea had pulled me aside to talk after I had come back into the bar. She was firm when she told me she didn't do drama in her bar and that went double for her employees. I apologized, knowing that I had screwed up, but hoping she would give me another chance. Andrea stated she didn't want to lose me as a worker...that good employees were hard to find these days. After that she let the subject drop and I released a relieved breath.

Merle shifted his large body next to mine, one hand engulfing my breast as he moved in his sleep. There had been a companionable silence between us in the truck on the way home and I wondered what was on his mind. Was he still thinking about his visit earlier? I had no idea how hard this addiction was for him, but he seemed to be handling it effortlessly thus far. _On the outside._

Knowing him better now I could tell that he was pushing his thoughts and feelings deep down inside himself. The fact that he had bared even a portion of his soul to me earlier made my heart flutter dangerously within my chest. I was in deep, so deep with this man and I didn't even care that he had the potential to totally wreck my life if he decided he didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I hitched in a breath when his fingers flexed and the pad of his thumb stroked across my cotton covered nipple making it pucker towards his touch. Turning my head in his direction I was met with the fierce blue of his eyes staring at me from beneath halfway closed lids. Wordlessly he let his hand slide down my ribcage and hover around the edge of my panties. I sucked in a breath when he drifted to the side and stroked feather-light fingertips down my thigh then back up again.

I swallowed hard as he traced lazy circles over the pulse pounding at the base of my throat, my breathing increasing with each second that passed. I shifted, trying to edge closer to him, my body slowly heating to a fire that threatened to char me to a crisp if I didn't get some sort of relief soon. He stopped me in my tracks as he slid one heavily muscled leg over mine, pinning my legs onto the mattress.

He rose up onto his elbow and slowly inched the cotton of my t-shirt up my stomach until my breasts were exposed. I watched with bated breath as he bent his head forward and his tongue darted out to circle the tip of one nipple drawing out a long moan from my lips. He took his time tracing the sensitive bud, laving it with his tongue until it was hard and aching to the touch. Closing his lips around it, he sucked it into his hot mouth at the same time he moved his hand into my panties and slid one long finger inside of me in a come hither motion. I lost it then, my orgasm rolling through my body and taking me by complete and total surprise.

"Oh God!" I bit down on my lip so hard that I was sure I drew blood.

I blindly grabbed at his wrist, holding his hand in place, afraid that he would stop this sweet torture. Of course, I wasn't nearly as strong as Merle so if he had wanted to move his hand he could have at any time, but he kept it in the same spot stroking me over and over. This was another side to him that I hadn't seen before and I was loving it. I hadn't ever had this...hadn't ever experienced that slow, drawn out arousal that lovers experience.

"Please," I whispered. "Don't stop."

He lifted his head, his eyes locking with mine and he very nearly took my breath away. His eyes were raw, thousands of silent emotions swirling deep within his blue depths. He claimed my lips forcefully slow, possessing them with raw animal intent. He guided his fingers over my clit, making small circles over and over again until I was panting beneath his lips, drawing in air from his own lungs as he continued to kiss me. I felt that familiar pleasure building deep within and it shocked me. I couldn't possibly come apart again...not this soon, but my body was telling a different story as my temperature heated once more.

I tugged on his hand, the sensations he was causing rocking my flushed body. "Merle," I panted, "I need you...I can't..."

"You will," he responded gruffly.

He shifted and his body hovered over mine, his expression one of full concentration and need as he played my body like a fine tuned instrument. Nudging my thighs apart, he slid another finger deep inside, increasing his speed, his eyes latched onto my own. I arched my hips into the air and his knee slid underneath my thigh, keeping my body at that angle.

I cried out as I finally succumbed to the pleasure, the pulsing aftershocks making me shake and tremble. Merle removed his fingers and grabbed my hips, pulling me down the bed and onto his hard cock. I shuddered violently as my body accepted him. He closed his eyes as he began to thrust into me and I studied his face. His jaw was set firmly, his lips pressed into a hard line as if he were trying to hold back from cumming too soon.

His fists were pressed into the bed on either side of my body, his forearms taut with exertion as he pushed into me over and over...pushing my body to the edge and back again. I slid my hands up his arms, reveling in the corded muscles there. His eyes flickered open and locked onto mine. This felt like so much more than just sex, but I tried not to put a label on it. We were still in a fragile stage in our relationship and I was trying desperately to guard my heart even though I knew it already belonged to Merle.

"Fuck me, Merle."

His nostrils flared at my demand and he grabbed my arms, hauling me up as he leaned back onto his thighs letting me take control and ride him. I planted my hands on his shoulders for leverage relishing in the pleasures of this new angle. Merle pushed his hand up to my throat and applied a gentle but firm pressure as he circled my pulse with his thumb continuously. The simple act of possession nearly made me dizzy with desire as I spread my own thighs farther apart to take more of him.

He released a low groan that sent shivers down my spine. I shattered around him in that moment, my whole body rocking into him with the aftershocks. I could feel his eyes on me and then he was pushing on my shoulders, thrusting his hips up into me furiously. The muscle in his jaw twitched and his body shook with a barely there tremble.

"Fuck!" He hissed.

I felt him lose control completely then, the warmth of his cum filling me as he held himself to me rigidly, his body slowly relaxing as the tension left him. He wrapped one arm around my waist as he pulled out of me and twisted our bodies, making us fall back to the bed with me cradled to his side. I rested one hand over his heart, feeling the steady pound within his chest. His stomach rose and fell with each breath and I briefly wondered if it was like this with every woman that he was with. The thought soured my stomach and I clung to him more tightly, forcing the raging jealousy away.

"Goddamn," he murmured.

I tilted my head, staring up at his face. "I'm going to take that as a positive statement," I said softly.

He chuckled once, his expression switching to one of mild amusement as he pulled away from me. I fought to keep from frowning as he sat up, leaning his long body back against the headboard. I rested my head back against my own pillow staring up at the ceiling as the early morning light filtered through the window. I felt relaxed and perfectly content to lie here next to him quietly. I was almost scared to surrender to the feeling of happiness unfurling inside my belly, afraid that it would be extinguished as soon as I acknowledged it. I felt like I finally had some control over my life with a good job, friends...and Merle.

"Oh, hey," I sat up as I suddenly remembered the money I had put aside for him and Daryl to help with the rent. Reaching over the side of the bed I grabbed the leg of my jeans and tugged them to me, digging around in the pocket for the money. I smiled as I placed the wad of bills on his chest, feeling good about being able to help out.

Merle glanced down at the money with a frown, "The hell's this?" He asked gruffly.

"My contribution to the bills," I replied. "I don't expect to stay here for nothing."

He scowled at me and tossed the money back into my lap, leaving the bed abruptly. I stared in open-mouthed shock at the money, my jaw working as I tried to figure out what was happening. I watched him shove his legs into his jeans and tug them up, yanking the zipper up harshly.

"Merle-"

"I don't want yer fuckin' money," he spat.

I scrambled off of the bed, the money falling forgotten onto the mattress in my haste to fix this. "I just want to hel-"

"Save it," he interrupted me. "Gonna need it when ya find yer own place, right?"

I took a step backward, his words hitting me like a blow to the chest. I guess I got my answer loud and clear about where we stood together. Merle still wanted me gone. I was just some warm and willing body to fill his bed and fuck senseless. This was just like before except this time I was free to go whenever I pleased, but my heart refused to budge even though my pride was wounded.

Fuck it. I was worth more than this. If he wanted me gone then I was gone. I squared my shoulders and faced him head on.

"Yeah," I said. "You're right. The sooner I save up enough money to move, the sooner I can leave."

His jaw twitched and his eyes bored into me before he jerked open the door, slamming it shut behind him as he left the room.

It was done.

...


	15. Chapter 15

**If I tell you all that this is the last chapter, will you kill me? ...Okay, I won't tell you then. :)**

...

"Wanna know what I think?" Daryl asked me.

"Nope," I replied.

I really wasn't in the mood to have a discussion on my relationship or lack thereof with Merle. I glanced out of the window at Merle, watching him stalk around the yard, practically taking out anything and everything in his path. I had the day off of work, but with the way the day was going I was wishing that I was scheduled to go in.

"Well I'm gonna tell you anyway and you're gonna listen," Daryl snapped, drawing my attention back to him. Daryl hadn't ever snapped at me before and I tensed at his tone. His eyes softened slightly at my wide gaze, "Stop starin' at me like I'm gonna hit ya or somethin'. Shit," he muttered.

I blinked, forcing away the dreaded memories of my past. "Sorry," I apologized. "Say what you need to say."

He braced one hand upon the kitchen counter and stared from me to the window where Merle was still in view. "You're both actin' like fuckin' kids," he spat. I opened my mouth to reply in my defense, but he held up a hand and I shut it, falling silent once more. "I don't know what in the hell happened between the two of ya, but all I know is Merle come bustin' out of that room mumblin' some shit about ya tryin' to pay us rent for livin' here." I was pretty sure that hadn't been all Mr. Merle Dixon had muttered, but I didn't say anything, wisely waiting on Daryl to continue. It wasn't every day that he spoke up like this so I knew it was sort of a big deal.

He chewed on his lip, worrying the tender skin with his teeth as I waited. "I noticed somethin' about Merle since you came here," Daryl went on to speak, his tone softer now, the look in his eyes far away. "There's a fire in his eyes that ain't been there before...almost like he's tryin' harder this time than he ever has before. It's weird, but it's there. I know he's an asshole and he gets shit wrong a lot, but he really cares for you. You might not be able to see it, but I see it. You think any other woman has ever come to stay with us this long an' been able to put up with my brother? Sleepin' in his bed every night?" Daryl's voice rose slightly, his eyes intense.

I glanced out of the window at Merle again. He had his head down, hands on his hips and he was staring at the grass below his boots intently, but I doubted that he was even seeing it. He looked so tender and approachable that I just wanted to take back everything that I had said and run to him, kissing the very breath from his lungs upon impact. The notion shook me, but I suppressed it.

"It doesn't matter," I said quietly, my words falling flat and disbelieving even to my own ears. "He doesn't want me here. I'm just a warm body until I find my own place and then he'll be on to the next woman who spreads her legs for him." God, what was I saying? I knew I was just lashing out...I was hurt because I still wanted him, still _loved_ him and he didn't even know because I hadn't told him.

Daryl's nostrils flared with irritation. "That's bullshit an' you know it. You think he would be this pissed off if he didn't care? Hell fuckin' no, I've seen him say all kinds of hurtful shit to the skanks he's carted through her without so much as battin' an eyelash!"

"Why are you yelling at me?" I cried. I knew I wasn't completely innocent here, but why was I receiving the full force of Daryl's wrath?

"Cause you're the only one that acts like they got any sense half the damn time!" Daryl paused and inhaled deeply before lowering his voice. "If you leave him now, then you're gonna be jus' like all the others who've abandoned him. It's gonna cause him to have a setback an' I can't watch my brother go through that again. _I_ can't go through that again." His eyes pleaded with mine and I swallowed over a large lump in my throat. "He needs you and whether or not he realizes it, the jackass loves you."

I nodded, knowing exactly what I needed to do. Because in the end I didn't want to leave. This place had become my home...Daryl had become like a brother to me and Merle...well Merle was special to me for many reasons. Daryl was right. I needed to fix this.

I inhaled deeply, drawing strength and much needed air into my lungs. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Merle walk into the small shed next to the house. "Wish me luck," I muttered sarcastically. "I'm gonna need it."

Daryl chuckled, "Good luck."

I think I shocked us both when I paused at his side and leaned forward to kiss his scruffy cheek. His face turned a deep shade of red. "Thank you," I whispered. He brushed me off and I smiled at how adorable he was before heading outside to face the tornado that was Merle Dixon. Lucky for me I loved the thrill of a storm.

...

I found him muttering to himself inside of the damp and poorly lit shed, tossing random items into bins or boxes. I leaned against the doorway and just watched him for a moment, enjoying watching him without him knowing.

"Say what'cha came here to say girl," he said gruffly, startling me to attention.

I rolled my eyes. I should have known that it was too good to be true. There wasn't much you could sneak past either Dixon at any given point in time.

"You're an asshole."

He paused, his head swinging around, eyes locking with mine. "You come here to cuss at me?" His voice was low and filled with tension.

Without really thinking this through, I marched inside of the shed and poked my finger into his chest. "You hurt me," I accused.

Something soft flickered in his eyes, but then they hardened again almost immediately. "Charmin' lil' thing ain't ya? Don't you got somewhere to be, boxes to pack or somethin'?" He turned away from me, but I grabbed his forearm, the muscles twitching beneath my hand.

"No. I'm pretty sure this is where I need to be." God, I was nervous. If I told this man that I loved him then he was likely to laugh in my face and leave me. Merle Dixon wasn't a relationship kind of guy...I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship myself. What were we thinking? What was _I_ thinking? How would I say this to him without breaking down?

"Got nothin' to say to you darlin'."

I tugged on his arm sharply, but he barely budged although he did swing those glittery eyes back to mine. "Oh I think you have plenty to say Merle Dixon," I snapped. "Unless you've gone all pussy soft on me?" It was a challenge and one I knew he would never let slide.

I was right.

His body brushed against mine, heavy boots grazing the tip of my shoes as he forced me backwards until my back hit the wall. I kept my eyes on his face, reminding myself that this was just Merle...my Merle. Both forearms hit the wall on either side of my head, caging me in and I teasingly rolled my hips forward until they brushed against his own.

"Guess you forgot ya playin' with fire darlin'. Wanna get burned?"

I met his gaze head on, "Burn me," I said with conviction.

One hand slid behind my head and he threaded those thick fingers of his into my hair and yanked my head backwards. My pulse beat wildly in my throat as his lips closed over it, licking and nipping at my flesh. I moaned. My body was already on fire for him and he had barely begun. His free hand shoved my shirt up over my breasts and he tugged on the cups of my bra until my nipples were exposed to him. Light as a feather he circled his tongue around my nipples before slowly drawing them into his mouth, suckling on them as if he had all day.

My hands grappled at his belt, working to get it undone so that I could get my hands on him. He batted my hands away, pulling his mouth free of my bare flesh. I watched as he worked his belt open with ease and jerked the leather free of his jeans. He grabbed my wrists and pinned them over my head, his mouth crashing into mine hungrily.

I felt the leather of the belt slide around my wrists and I involuntarily stiffened, but he shushed me, whispering dirty things into my ear. His swift hands made a loop to enclose my wrists and yanked it tight, binding my hands together snugly. He bent before me and slowly removed my jeans and shoes until I was naked from the waist down. His eyes trailed over me ravenously, setting fire to my skin with every heartbeat that passed.

He tugged his shirt over his head and pulled his cock free of his pants, the hard length standing tall and proud with arousal. He stepped forward and slid his hands up the back of my thighs and cupped my ass, smoothing them up further until he reached my breasts once more. His thumb stroked each nipple until they hardened into stiff peaks and I moaned loudly, wishing that I could touch him.

He nudged my feet apart with his boots and slid one finger inside of me, working me rapidly until I was panting against him. I rested my forehead against his shoulder as my body tingled with pleasure. His thumb circled the tiny nub hidden within the depths of my body, pushing me to the edge and back again. I wanted to smooth my hands over his chest and cling to him as if he were a raft in the middle of the ocean. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of emotion. Merle was my drug, my hero...my everything.

That stark realization sent me tumbling over the edge and I shouted his name as I came undone. He never eased up, continuing to stroke me until he had milked every last drop from my body. My legs threatened to give out on my, but his strong arm circled around my waist, keeping me from falling. He released the belt from my wrists and I felt his thumb stroke over my skin, massaging my wrists softly to circulate the blood. Moving swiftly he gripped my ass and lifted me, bracing my back against the wall for leverage before bringing me back down to slide into me. I moaned, my head falling against the wall as he filled me to completion.

His mouth was hot on my skin, his lips nibbling and sucking at my exposed flesh. The sensations were intense and I could barely breathe over the pleasure I was feeling. At one point he glanced up and our eyes met, his own swirling with the storm of his emotions. I reached up and cupped his cheeks, stroking my fingers over the light scruff.

"I love you Merle Dixon," I whispered.

His eyes flickered. He didn't say it back and he began to thrust harder, his jaw noticeable tight. He made a noise low in his throat and suddenly buried his face in the crook of my shoulder, his breath hot on my neck. "Don't go." His voice was raw, almost pleading and ragged.

I blinked in confusion. I didn't understand what he meant. "Don't go where?" I panted.

"Anywhere," he responded gruffly. "Don't fuckin' go _anywhere_."

The realization that he wanted me to stay hit me hard and I lost control, my thighs trembling around his waist. I moaned, my efforts cut off with the feel of his mouth upon mine once more. He swallowed every cry, every breath that I uttered and still he kept kissing me even when I had nothing more in me to give. Seconds later he pushed free of my mouth and slammed into me hard, pinning me in place with his hips with a growl and a curse falling from his lips. I sucked in a breath when I heard his barely audible whisper, "_Nikki_."

I held him tightly to me and together we slid to the dirty floor of the shed, but I didn't care. In that moment the only thing I cared about was the man in my arms. The one who had declared an emotion deeper than any I doubted he had ever expressed aloud before. He might not have said those exact words, but I had heard it in his voice, in his plea for me to stay.

This was what I had wanted all along, just someone to love and to love me in return. I didn't need a fancy house, car, or clothing. I had all that I needed right in this moment. What Merle and I had wasn't perfect - far from it in fact, but it was _real. _I didn't need anything else now, I had what my heart desired. There were still things we needed to work out, but hearing him beg me to stay...that had been all that my heart had craved. Because in that moment he gave me what I had wanted all along - _a reason_.

...

**I know you all weren't expecting this one to end so soon and to be totally honest, neither was I. However, the muse felt that the time was right and I've got a lot on my plate right now. This update took so long because I wanted to make sure that I did it justice, that I gave our couple the ending that they deserved. They may not have lived happily ever after, but that's not Merle and Nicole. They needed to come to terms with each other, to stop fighting one another and just accept that they needed each other. **

**I would like to take this time to thank each of you, whether you reviewed once, every chapter, or were just a silent reader. The fact that you were here and came back, giving this story a shot speaks volumes. Every small review I've gotten for this story has meant more to me than a thousand meaningless reviews. You all are awesome and I'm sure it won't be my last time writing Merle. He's a demanding bastard so he'll be pulling me back in soon I'm sure. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


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